Back to blog again(((:

woooo..life is so dead..

every week it is like i look forward to every friday and saturday.

today i learnt about one thing in lecture talking about:

EVERYBODY;ANYBODY;NOBODY;SOMEBODY..

it goes like this...:

There was an important job to be done.

EVERYBODY knew SOMEBODY would do it.

ANYBODY could have done it,

but NOBODY did it.

So,SOMEBODY got angry when he found that it should have been done by EVERYBODY.

But,EVERYBODY thought ANYBODY would do it.

In the end,

SOMEBODY reproached EVERYBODY because NOBODY did what could have been done by ANYBODY."

i sent this to my cg members which seemed to have created a big fuss.

i didn't know it was so sensitive.

i thought that they will have the same mind and thinking as me.

this is what i called assumptions.

and i was wrong.

i was shocked though.

but well..

i was thinking about it..

is it really so sensitive?

alrights.

i convinced myself by thinking that S33 is a family but i still have to be sensiive with the words i use.

they are family.but just different from real families we had.

but i think i have no family though.

thats why i will be so "into" the word "family" when it comes to my cg.

i tot they will share the same thinking and will not interpret wrongly.

didn't i sent another message just to clarify myself?

but well..the 1st message was still the main focus.

[ [ i clarify myself.and what did God says?don't have to defend yourself for God will defend for you.where is all these i have learnt?why am i not applying? ] ]

*so impulsive of me*

well... i guess i just have to stop sending all these messages?

or in a nicer way of speech,watch my words and make sure my message is not sensitive.

having too high expectations will get me into trouble.

anyway,who am i?

not a CGL,PCGL nor a COGL.

just purely a member.

i think i have been too tou ru into this family that

i want to share every single thing that i think is so true to them.

===========================

my CLOSE friend list:

s33

CYNTHIA

JEFFREY

===========================

who else will i think of?

i put S33 above all of these 3.

whatever i learnt and know,

my first though is S33.

i admit in the past i was not..

but now i am different.

don't be shocked by my sudden change.

and question how come why?can't be de mah.no one can be like that.

i have 24 hours.the difference is just that i think alot.

during the time i go toilet,on the way to school,in school,on the way to work,

during work and blah blah blah,I AM THINKING.

every second,i am changing.

if you really notice,

i have changed.

good or bad i do not judge it.

i think that i have become :

::more involved in this cg

::making alot of effort to dress up to promote "WOW FACTOR" and glorify God.

::trying to motivate my members.

but so what though?

i am not careful in my messages.

so,what should i do?

BE CAREFUL.

maybe yoo all do not see the changes..

but sometimes i think...

is it so important that peepos see my change?

************************************

and i analysed this way:

thinking + getting = motivating

thinking + not getting = demotivating

don't think + getting = extra bonus.

don't think + not getting = doesn't matters

SO,the outline is:" Don't go and think about whether being seen or not."
because it will hurt u.

*************************************

well...out of a sudden a feel my emptiness and loneliness touch me.

and i just can't help tearing.

blame it on myself.

-assumptions

-expectations on them(i know no one is perfect)

-emotions-led

-uncareful

*erms*

**smiles**

don't wish to think but thoughts are intruding into my mind.

maybe because i care too much about how they interpret my message..

care too much about how they think..

things are scary..

t*o***t* **e *o* ****e* wi*h *o* **t *e**** *o** *****.

these words are sensitive.so i used asterix.

alrights alrights.

*spanks myself*

OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*leaving this computer*

**blogging rakes my thoughts more and more*

feel so traumatized now.

*seek my perfect friend now*

dolphin wants to swim away..

*clique clique*

she is so emppty now..

is there anyone who lives in the Venus just like she is?

Labels: traumatizing me.

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