My choice and FINALE.
I FINALLY MADE A CHOICE.I want this man, ONG SHUI SHI, OUT OF MY LIFE. This is no longer just a talk or a try. BUT, i am going to do it, in a process of doing it, and soon it will come to pass. And i mean it. It really will. As soon as by Thursday. Looking back at the days when I missed him, dated with him, loved him, tolerated.. I wonder how I came this far. Hershey pie and coke light, all stucked in my mind. Memories I used to hold dearly in my heart. Days when I sleep wetting my pillow. Time when I try to do the best to please you. I was wrong, utterly wrong. Or should I say, I was silly. Knowing you love chip and dale, I saved up all the little I had just to buy the chip and dale puzzle for you. Put it together on my own, pasted it on a big puzzle frame, writing all the birthday messages to you, writing my blessings to you. And all that you could respond was, "I never wanted it from you even when we were dating." I asked again,"You really don't want right?" You said,"Of course don't want la!When you wanted to give to me, when did i ever seems like i want it?" That's it. That was the last time I hand my 真心 to you. And it ruined it. Maybe not my real HEART, but that piece i made for you, every stroke was my blessing and love. But, you can just "throw" it with words like that. That's enough. really. you said you never needed anything from me, and if you want something, you will use your own $$$ to buy it and wanted me to GET THIS CLEAR. Yes, I got this clear. But you get this clear too. This piece is not made for you because you WANTED it. It was done because I wanted to do something for you, wanted to melt that ice heart of yours. Want to help mend the broken pieces of your heart back. Want to erase that haunting experience you had in your birthday with your ex. BUT, ALL YOU COULD SEE, is only about YOU,YOUR thinking. You can only judge from YOUR perspective. Feel from YOUR own senses. See from YOUR own eyes. You never knew how self-centered you were. But there I was, never giving up. Giving you as much as I could. I can only say, I gave you all that I can ever hold. Every single thing. All that I had. All i wanted was you to lay your eyes on me for once. But, you will never. in the relationship of 2years plus. You never once had your eyes laid on me. It was only when your "need" is met. Sacrifice upon sacrifice. And all you can ever say, was all your "don't want"(s) and your "no"(s) and "none of my business"(s). All you can ever care is yourself. Your heart, your pride, your ego, your feelings and your past wounds. And all i do is useless to you. It meant nothing to you, from the start till the end. (: guess it's all over now. it already time to let you move out of my heart. Maybe it was only the memories that held me back. I was trapped in the memories, in the true heart i gave that was stepped on. Perhaps, I have long long ago no longer love you? i don't know. But whatever it is, you are out of life. for now and ever. I will put guards all around my heart just to look out for you and ban you from entering. No more hershey pies and coke light because of YOU. It will only be my likes and my wants. I have chose to move on. Since you have chosen to "throw" it away, The puzzle will be burnt in front of prince. I want nothing to do with you again. Thank you. (: 0 comment[s] | back to top |