let me be frank here.
i had a big quarrel with her last friday.
it was a quarrel full of vulgarities and fuge.
we even break our friendship for it.
but on saturday night she smsed me and tell me her true feelings.
OVER HERE,
I WOULD LIKE TO AFFIRM HER.
for giving in and typing that message to me which salvaged our friendship.
it took her ALOT OF COURAGE and i am clear and sure about it.
we learnt a lesson.
[DIGNITY KILLS!]
it does.it will kill your friendship.
because of dignity,
we did not want to give in to each other,
we choose not to stay as friends because we don't want
to let the opponent feel we are defeated.
so we quarrel even more.
we said alot of things.
INCLUSIVE of truth and fake.
fake in the sense of our feelings and things we misunderstood.
BUT...
we survived it.we manage to calm ourselves and give in to each other,
putting down our pride and dignity..
i feel that God put a test between our friendship,
to show how much we love each other and how much we need each other.
and at the same time,erupt those unhappiness in our hearts that we
buried to each other,
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
because of this quarrel our hearts for each other is renewed again.
we no longer have any hidden unhappiness.
I THANK JESUS FOR THIS BEST FRIEND like HER.

HER,
i really thank you for stepping one step out.
if not,this friendship would have ended.
i have realised my fault and mistakes and i am sure yoo do too.
i think it's our past memories that brought us back to each other.
i also can't bear to lose this friendship indeed.
was really down about the broken friendship.
at the same time also angry about yoo saying break.
but the main feeling is WU ZHU ba.
i don't want to give in but i want this friendship
yet i don't know what else i can do.
i just choose to show yoo my anger since yoo give me ur anger.
but i really did cried for it.
yoo have REALLY been A GREAT FRIEND to me.
I AM BLESSED TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE,
FOR YOU PLAY THE BIGGEST PART IN MY LIFE over others.
<3>

talking about saturday...
it was KC's birthday celebration.
CROPS UP AND CROPS UP!
iie was busy looking for poppers..
going fairprice...then watson..
just couldn't find it..
got real anxious for it..
then someone told me maybe japanese home
has it.so i went there..
and found it finally..
then suddenly get a sms to buy cake for him.
then at the mean time KC already ask me to
meet him together to church..
i was like.................
OH NO!how?how?how?
was real nervous and worried about it.
so i scan through my WHOLE contact list in my phone.
called my cg members.
none was free..
fine...i called jeffrey,spencer then found out they are in cgm.
then i even called my band members to help me.
then either they never pick up my calls,
or they are not free..
*more and more nervous*
i called maggie in the end..
then AT LAST!someone rescued me!
she helped me take the cake.
THANK YOU MAGGIE!
then i ask maggie to pass it to jeffrey..
i then waited for KC for 1 plus hour!
sooooooo long la?!
i still manage to reach church in one piece though.
i was anxious so i asked spencer they all where is jeffrey.
i gonna tell yoo this.
i feel awkward and so low self esteemed about this.
WHY WHEN YOU ALL SEE ME,YOU ALL KEEP LAUGHING?
it makes me feel very weird and SUPER awkward la?
let me say what i was thinking:
"how come they keep laughing?is it cos they think
about me liking jeffrey in the past?or is it cos they
feel that this few days i and jeffrey very close
then thought i fall in love with him again?oh my goodness...
but why they take this issue and laugh at?
in the first place i feel that joking at two person who
don't love each other or one way ticket is NOT FUNNY!
it hurts their feelings and thrash their esteem.
just like how i felt though i dono abt jeffrey.
maybe jeffrey felt ashamed and shameful abt it?i am not sure.
haizz.ok ok..calm downnn..relax..just focus on the cake."

then i successfully asked jeffrey to help me hide the cake.
thank you jeffrey.
then i even asked him to help me hide the present.
LET ME SAY OUT THE REASONS WHY I ASKED JEFFREY TO DO IT.
-definitely NOT cos i love him
-cos he is the only one other than n234 that i know and
is close with.
-cos i really want to make a surprise for KC!totally
don't want him to know.
[[[[[[[[[[[THAT'S ALL]]]]]]]]]]
this wasn't the end..during ZONE debrief,
i was seating down on the floor,
jeffrey was standing super near me.
then there was a gap that he can seat.
yet he didn't..though i am not really sure why...
then peepos shouted,"JEFFREY!ni chi puo li zhang da de ah?"
DOUBLE AWKWARD OF THE DAY!
i was like...SIGHH~so irritated.
but why was i awkward?
probably because i used to like him and his cg members know it.but in the first place how do they even know it?!
i don dare to doubt.but i was thinking alot?
being close with a guy makes peepos feel
like i like him?!

why a guy and a girl cannot be too close.
though i understand the reason why,
but i still simply DON'T LIKE it that way..
AND CAN'T ACCEPT IT!
i wonder....
because got such thinking and this people creating "rumours"
then cause alot of really close girl and guy friendship
start to drift.
and that must also be one of the reasons why alot of peepos
go for "underground relationship".
sighhh~
i and jeffrey's friendship starts to drift real lot.
yes i was very bothered by it.
yes i felt upset and frustrated about it.
i really don't know what happen.
in the midst of no one telling me at all..
tongues wagging behind my backs yet i know
not a single thing[i feel]
i really do bother about this friendship.
i do care so much.
but i just feel that my care and bother attitude is unwanted
and simply not needed..
yes i am still holding on to this close friendship.
cos i have not learnt how to let go.
some say jeffrey is not really good.
so what?i like his way of doing things will do!
why must i hear that jeffrey is a good friend or what
before thinking whether i want to befriend him?
i trust him that he will always be better.
i trust God will change him too.
don't ask me why i don't trust others saying
his no good.
it's simply because i trust him.
i like his true character that he don put a mask in
front of me and that he is truthful for whatever he says.
i like the way he jokes with me and do magic to show
me when i am down,always encourage me when
he knows i am down..he is always there to
pull me up..
don't tell me that you are also like him very caring for me..
cos it's the matter of feel and time that builds it.
i did not have a close friendship with jeffrey until a period of time.i did work hard to make him be more open.
i may not sounds great to yoo all.
but to me,it's an accomplishment.
what have yoo peepos do to try to be close to me?
always saying "yoo can tell me if yoo have problems. :)"
does it helps?tell me how did yoo people react when i
once shared?either always use godly stuffs to say
which i feel that yoo don't acknowledge my pain,
or either tell me "shi zhe yang de la";"there are more peepos
who are worse than yoo.";"don't think about it la."
or either ask me to don't care.
all these who don't know how to say?
saying is just opening your mouth and speak.
but the doing person is me.
did yoo all guide me through?
accompany me through the days i was sad?
were yoo all sensitive enough to feel that i was still sad?
were yoo all even bothered to leave a sms asking about how am i or even call me?
IF yoo did not,how do yoo expect a close friendship?
don't always say i must take initiative..
cos i did take the initiative to talk to yoo all before.
but the reaction yoo all gave was not what i want.
though i know i can't expect everyone to suit me.
and sometimes i do feel that maybe the prob i share
will be shared to among peepos yoo are close to
or maybe someone yoo are sure he/she will not spread..
but so what?this is not the main thing.
the main thing is that i entrusted yoo with my problems,
yet yoo share it with others without even asking
for my permission or even opinion.
yes leaders are high in rank and i must respect them,
but when yoo were to say my prob to someone else,
i do really ask that you let me know!
I HATE IT when someone else know it and
either yoo deny or i find out that is you who secretly
told this person or that yoo gossip abt it.
don't tell me you 100% will not.
because though we all are christians,
we are not perfect.
we strive to be god-like,
but we are not god.
we still have our own worldly comments and character!
don't tell me c*******ns have no bad thinking?
they don't talk behind peepos' back?
HOW SURE CAN YOU GIVE ME A DEFINITE ANSWER:
"YES WE DON'T!NOT AT ALL!I CONFIRM WE DON'T
HAVE NEVER DONE ALL THESE THAT YOU MENTION."?
yes,leaders are god annointed leaders.
but are they perfect like god with no
worldly thinking?
but i want to say is that I STILL RESPECT THEM!
*relaxing..next topic and back to the day*
then we went to the nearby playground to celebrate
KC's birthday.pop at him.he was really scared.
the cake was good,the card was FABULOUS.
then
we went for penguin's band concert,
together clement,KC,austin,kenneth,eve and me.
it was really good..
then went to newton food center to eat.
rush to find my father's lorry later..
ya...this part is not really in detail cos i think this is really a LONG post.

SUNDAY:
i had feeling that i and jeffrey will not be going out.
it already started since ytd.
i waited for 17 hours for a reply.
i not sleep well.was real tired..
i went to yun nam for a free trial at 11.30am..
still dressed as going to Escape them park.
i still had the faith that he will bring me go
as promised though.
was lost when he said something happened.
i was really lost.i was at tiong bahru plaza that time.
when i finished with the free trial,
i stood there blankly not knowing what to do.
out of a sudden if i feel alienic with peepos around me.
i suddenly felt left alone.
was really blank and feeling really uneasy.
i walked around blankly.
went to "more than words" to see my favourite soft toys
and tears start dropping..
it took me some time to accept this fact.
i was really sad about it.
went to buy alot of cute things to ease my sadness.
really wanted to go Escape to play and release
my child-like attitude that is being hidden
under my strong attitude..
but in the end.....
haizzz..
i was worried about him,
i think he knows?
or perhaps he don't know cos i expected too much maybe.
i scrolled my contact list..
tried smsing those that may be able to go out,
ALL can't come out.
if not,THE REST is kids,
if not,can't get them.
AT THAT POINT OF TIME,
i marked all my contacts.
pressed [DELETE ALL].
but luckily stopped at the part when it says,
[DELETE?(yes/n0)]
looking at my contact list..
start to feel that all these peepos are alien to me.
THEN A RESCUER CAME.
SHANNON.
maybe this is the reason why there is a huge difference btw how i treat her and how i treat others.
she always pour it all out just to accompany me and
help me.always the ONLY ONE when peepos forsake me.
tolerating my nags and being a GREAT LISTENING EAR.
met with her at bugis..
she and jk treated me to [SOUP AND SPOON]
heyy!don't play play!the spicy wedges were VERY NICE!
she always never fails to make my day when i am real sad.
walk around trying shoes and she bought two pretty shoes.
then we went to burger king to eat and chatted alot
on the way home on my father's lorry.

SIM the place where i study is SO ULU!
it's not the one next to ngee ann.
is at bartley road.
when my father drowv there,
we thought it was some industry.
in the end,
that was my school.
LOL!
that's all..
i am more relieved now that i sound out.

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CHUPPA CHUPS ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY!
*strawberry*

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F*** MAN~
now cos i am the LAST to photocopy,
I BECOME THE PRIME SUSPECT WHO PHOTOCOPIED THE SECURITY BOND.
iie remembered kor once said,if that person whom come
and apologise to yoo,will make ur heart sink.
BUT now,
I AM TYPICALLY FURIOUS ABOUT THIS.
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME!
IT'S THE SECOND TIME!
WHY MUST THE SUSPECT BE ALWAYS ME?
WHAT THE FISH THE NUGGETS CHEESE FRIES?!

first time is SUSAN ,
coming to my table and BANG my table and say
that i photocopy don't know what then never take!
COME ON LA!GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!
IN THE END,WAS IT ME?
YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO APOLOGISE
OR EVEN SHOW AN EXPRESSION OF BEING SORRY
FOR ANYHOW ACCUSING ME!
SOMEMORE IS IN FRONT OF ANNA!

NOW,
THE BIG TRUMPET SHIRLEY!
EARLY IN THE MORNING,
I AM THE FIRST ONE TO BE ASKED," IS IT YOU WHO PRINT THE SECURITY BOND?DON'T KNOW WHO GO AND PHOTOCOPY AND LEAVE IT THERE,THEN NOW CANNOT FIND THE ORIGINALS."
i can understand if you ask just for clarifications.
BUT I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY AFTER ASKING ONCE,
YOU STILL ASK AGAIN?
AS IF YOU ARE SURE IT IS ME!
WHY WHEN GOOD THINGS DONE,
I AM NOT THE FIRST ONE TO BE ASKED WHETHER IS IT I DO?!


I ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD I HATE ACCUSATIONS!
DON'T come and tell me,"who likes to be accused?just don't care la!"
this type of things who don't know what to say?
if it is me i also know how to say!
but a person in anger at the moment don't want to hear all these bullshit.
BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HELPS AT ALL!
just let me screammmmmmmmmmm out all that i am feeling now,
i will be alright soon.


ONE MORE THING,
I HATE SARCASM!
I TELL YOU,WHOEVER IS SOMEONE LIKE THAT,
I WARN YOU IN MY BLOG,
STOP THAT SARCASTIC TALKS AND EXPRESSION TOWARDS ME.
I CAN'T TOLERATE IT!
what's there to be sarcastic?
cannot just speak straight to my face?
NEED TO GIVE ME THAT SARCASTIC EXPRESSION AND SMILE,
THEN REPLY ME AN ANSWER?
IT'S F***ING IRRITATING!
do yoo want to tell me that everyone has their own style of showing?
then i fancy tell you that
I HAVE MY TYPE OF WHAT TYPE OF SHOWING STYLE THAT I LIKE!
SO HERE I AM,TELLING YOU I HATE BEING GIVEN THIS
SARCASTIC FACE,EXPRESSION,SMILE AND TALK!

you want to show to whoever else i don't care,
I DECLARE HERE THAT YOU DON'T SHOW ME THIS TYPE OF SARCASM.
FOR I DO NOT KNOW WHEN I WILL EXPLODE MY VOLCANO ONTO YOU.
it's just the matter of time..if you don't stop it,
I WILL!JUST DON'T TEST MY TOLERANCE LEVEL.

i am already very MOOD SWING after i take the medication.
yet this happens to AGITATE MY MOOD even further,
THANKS SO MUCH YA?!

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我累了。。。

有时候，真得很想问：‘为什么要这么坚强？’

有时，真得很累。。

连我自己都无法回答自己的问题。。

我好像已经失去自己了。。

我看看天空。。

没变啊！为什么我好像有些改变？

也许这一切的一切在我不知不觉中就已经在改变。。

只是我无法面对现实？

我的眼眶为什么会又泪？

为什么我终觉得心里有一种说不出的痛苦？

或许舍我累垮了吧？

在这种环境生活。。

我好难适应。。

天天面对这无爱的家庭。。

让我累，让我伤。。

生活好像失去了很多乐趣。。

我好像被一个很固执的贝壳紧紧锁起来。。

无法自拔。。

我是着打开。。

但现在却全身无力。






yesterday iie wasn't at work.


two reasons:


1)my clothes were undone,it was obvious someone touched me.


[[sighh,sometimes iie feel so tense up with it.


why even at home i have to worry?]]


2)iie was having heavy diahorrea.


[[but how many cares?]]





i am sick!sick of all these..............


iie hate that bastard!


peepos say go and call police..


you think i don't want?but i still have to spare a thought for my mum!


who can understand my agony?


those agony i dig a hole to hide it..


but i didn't seems to hide well for iie still can see it..


*tears dropped uncontrollably*


iie seek for understanding..


iie seek for reasonable things.


why must yoo all take away the only thing that can make me happpy aaway?


iie am crying so painfully on the inside,


do yoo all know?


GOD~


whyy??whyyyy?WHYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyYY?


TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!


iie have never felt so unloved before.


iie am under a medication.


DON'T ASK ME WHAT MEDICATION!


I DON'T WISH TO SHARE :'(


this medication has alot of side effects..


for that i remember:


-mouth dryness


-taste disturbance


-dizziness


-high blood pressure


-affects the liver


-hypertension


-will feel extreme high


-u will have suicidal thoughts


-much more emo than now that u are





i experience all these today.


except for the [affects liver] and [high blood pressure]?


despite they know got this side effects,


they don't even care..



i wonder what i am in their eyes..



i will never show u my sad face.



cos i know u will never care.



so i won't show.



i promise myself..



i will never weep in front of yoo all..



even when ii am beaten up..



NO MORE.IT'S THE END.



how much do yoo all care about me?!



sometimes ii just feel like feigning laughters.



HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!



but deep inside i just know i wasn't happy..



iie just wann tuu be silent..



yoo all make me choose one out of two impt things in life.



SIM/CHURCH



SIM-if i choose this i will have a cert

-if i don't,i will not be able to study



CHURCH-the only place i find happiness

-the only place i can heal myself




BOTH are important.yet yoo viciously want me to choose..

automatically,i will have to choose SIM ya?

yoo all know that..

whyy make me choose?

why take away my ONE and ONLY HAPPINESS?

*tears begin to flow again*

i am left with nothing le..

my circle of *friends* only church.

the only place i can dwell in,

now yoo all snatch it all..

wei shen me lian wo zhui hou de xin fu dou yao duo zhou?

='(

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10 句值的深思的话：

第一句： 没有一百分的另一半，只有五十分的两个人
第二句： 付出真心才会得到真心，却也可能伤得彻底，
保持距离就能保护自己， 却也注定永远寂寞
第三句： 通常愿意留下来跟你吵架的人才是真爱你的人
第四句： 有时候不是对方不在乎你而是你把对方看得太重
第五句： 冷漠，有时候并不是无情，
只是一种避免被伤害的工具
第六句： 如果我们之前有1000步的距离,
你只要跨出第一步，
我们就会朝你的方向走其余的999步
第七句： 为你的难过而快乐的是敌人，
为你的快乐而快乐的是朋友，
为你的难过而难过的就是那些该放进心里的人
第八句： 就算是 Believe 中间也藏了一个 Lie
第九句： 真正的朋友并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，
而是在一起就算不说话也不会感到尴尬
第十句： 朋友就是被你看透了还能喜欢你的人...


this is indeed so true.
sighh..sometimes iie can be so in depth of this
type of quotes that i don't know how to walk out.
:'(

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today is really a tiring day..
iie did something ok~
sighs..
why there are so much thoughts in my mind
that iie don seems to be able to sort it out?
iie really wonder some time,
who am i?
what great purpose is awaiting for me to fulfill?
what type of person i am to others?
sighhs.
TWO MAJOR THINGS I WORRY:
1.KC'S CARD
2.I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO FOR CG AND SERVICE IF SCH STARTS!

iie am running out of time le..
iie need xtra time!ARGHHHH!
God!may ur mercy fall upon me..

this few days i have been talking to my beloved kor.
HMMMMS!
he is really someone iie wann tuu affirm..
he always try to free out his time to talk to me..
and always try to make me feel wanted.
that in this world there is still one person who
still will want me to listen to his probs and also
let me share his problems.
i think if all this while he did not appear,
my mind sure will have gone berserk!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SUCH A SUPER BROTHER TO ME!
there is so much of [x] in my life yet yoo always try to inspire me,
yoo are indeed someone who will joke and also be serious.
thanks..

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sometimes iie really wonder,

have iie left out my BEST sister?

iie was in dilema.

wellwellwell..

did iie talk behind her back?

hmmmms.

well..iie think it's not going tuu be a easy explanation thing.

well,iie did heard some suspections from others about yoo.

is either iie listen or iie nod head.

but of course iie did stand up for yoo when they

talk nonsense about yoo.

if yoo are in my shoes,maybe yoo will then understand my stand.

if the person whom iie am talking about know who yoo are,

and do wish tuu understand more,

iie will tell yoo personally.

sometimes iie don't wish tuu comment on peepos around me,

for i am not even near purfect,

who am iie tuu comment on yoo?

sometimes cos iie know iie have a bad attitude and

have not really the right tuu say yoo,

iie chose tuu hide away..

soon,iie am becoming more and more close up tuu yoo..

the past days..

the reason why we are so close might be because

yoo only have me at that point of time.

it seems like everything have changed.

yoo have ur bunch of friends.

how much do yoo need me?

sometimes iie really wonder,

how yoo really think of me.

iie wonder why had i become this type of me..

have iie changed,or is it that yoo have changed?

we have drifted so much..

sometimes when iie begin tuu recall,

yoo seems tuu be the only one who hears what iie say,

and yoo don really tell me ur probs until iie prompt.

iie do care about yoo,

but how do iie know when yoo ever need me?

have yoo gave me the sense of being needed during this period

of time?

from my part of view,

iie feel that yoo don't even seems to need me.

yoo already got jk,juliana and vanessa.

am iie really needed?

iie miss the past..

times that we are so close and gossiping around with each other,

laughing like never before,standing up for each other.

now,all these are disappearing..

it begins tuu be in our memories..

*sighs*





cell group was good,

saw the touching scene that touched adam's heart.

HMMM!

well,S33 is really a caring cell group..

they bought the neccesities for their camp.

every single one of them..

so sweeettttt isn't it?





iie wanna SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm!

F*** MAN!WHAT THE HE**!

WHO ARE YOO TO SCOLD ME?!

AS IF I WAS THE ONE WHO PRINT WHAT APPOINTMENT!

BIG F**K TO YOO!

I WILL REMEMBER YOU!

DAM* YOU F***ING BYT*H!

COME HERE BANGING MY TABLE AS IF

YOO ARE SURE I WAS THE ONE!

SHIT YOU!

IF THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN,

EVEN IN FRONT OF ANNA,

I GONNA SHOUT AT YOU JIALAT JIALAT!

mailto:!@$%&^(&*)^@%$&^&*&(^$$!^%$&%^*^&(&*(

now i know your name [[SUSAN]]

THANKS SO MUCH AH!



ok!ii felt better already.

doreen apologised to me.

cos it's her paper.

><

fine.

i am Jesus The Loving Heavenly's Father's daughter.

who shall i condemn?!NO WAY!

iie shall forgive and forget..

1..........

2.......

3.....

*deleting............*

*DELETED.*

no more grudges.





i know i have been slacking..
haiiz.
simply have no mood..
so many things are running in my mind though i never show..
sighh..
gonna learn tuu be more serious.
HMMMS.
iie think iie have pissed shannon off..
hmmm.

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oh my FISHING NET!

today someone saw half my breast!

OH MAN!

damn xia suay la?!

cos i was bending down trying tuu type something..

then this TECK GUAN while walking out,

said,"BU YAO LOU BAN LI LEH!LA HAO LAI!"

oh my gosh!

whyy like that say?

iie shyy like never before....

the first time iie am shyy but what others said..

can't believe it..

my face turned red la?!

-.-

iie didn't do it on purpose de la?!


today iish saturday,CELL GROUP DAY AGAIN XD
iie am so anxious tuu be there.!
OH MAN!
JESUS I AM RUNNING TO YOU!
CANT WAIT TUU ENTER YOUR PRESENCE!
*mwarks,my Heavenly Father!*
gonna date Him!

today iie think wholeday didn't do much!haha!!!
but iie did alot of uploading of photos.
gonna give yoo all the link again..

this is the link for my baobei's photos!

MICKEY BAOBEI


this is my cute photos~


POOH BAOBEI

HAVE FUN LO

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todayy and tomorrow shannon is on leave.
todayy lee wee is also on leave.
SIANS la?!later that shirley gonna SCREAMMM again...
donn wann tuu helpp her..
I WANN SOME PEACE.
yesterdayy iie was on leave so as tuu go for the praise and worship thingy.
iie didn't regret choosing GOD upon money.
although iie do feel sian that iie make lesser money than shannon.
but,WELL!it's gonna be alright.
iie gonna stand by faith that things will turn around.
this time everything is gonna come round,right God?
I MUST TRUST~!
and I WILL TRUST!
no matter how tough it is.
HE is HEAVENLY FATHER.
iie know HE can do more than iie can expect and think.

there it goes,
this morning my father asked,
"YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT IT PROPERLY!
SIM or CHURCH!there is no two."
he said that strictly.



im in hunger!
so so much..
money please flow inn!!!!
FLOWWWwwwww.......
STaRTtttttttttttttt FLOWWwwwWwwwwinggggg........
i am in need!!!
i am!i am!got which rich korkor want tuu sponsor my SIM?!
$10,000!

who will be my gurrantor?
-age ranging from 17-60 years old
-photocopy of NRIC[front and back]
-Invoice of my schoold whole course payment
-computerised payslip
-income tax[don't know what's that]
-lastest 12 mths of CPF contribution

iie am shOOOOOooooo stressed out larhhs?!
MONEYYYYyyyyyy~
LOVEEEEEeeeeeee me moreeeee pleaseeee!
comeee tuu meeeeeee!
how? how? how?

iie need some peace in my heart.
iie have been worrying shooo much.
i don know what tuu do..

iie told myself iie have tuu stand up on my feet..
but god,
can iie choose to rest in your embrace?
i just wann that warmth..
lift me up,lord.
heal my wounds..
take away my tireness.
im sick of this world...
so sick of it...
whyy do peepos can't understand what i am going through?
so so depressed.
just cos i never say?
yoo know how much little things can mean tuu me?
how hurt iie can feel when little probs occur??

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*SHOCKED*

FAR TOO TRUE MAN~~~~~~~~

You Are the Guru

You are a naturally good counselor. You are inspiring, encouraging, and compassionate. You are eager to help everyone who crosses your path, even those who don't want to be helped. You are a natural healer. People feel at peace when they are with you. You are so good for people, in fact, that they go through withdrawal once you're gone. You quietly do your own thing, without openly resisting. You secretly try to fix every problem. Your biggest regret is not being able to help as many people as you'd like.

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JUST SO TRUE L A?!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

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HAHA!I AM STIU DOING ALL THESE TESTS~

I SIMPLY LOOOOOOOVE IT!

wo shi lang man de ren~

You are a Total Romantic

For you, love is like a fairy tale. Or magic. Or a Meg Ryan movie. Problem is, you sort of want all three. You bring the spark in the relationship In turn, you expect your guy to keep the fire burning Not a bad deal, as long as you find the right Prince.

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im pretty SICK with EMOS!



now iie can understand how others try tuu tolerate me when



iie am emo.



but iie stiu think iie am better than that emo boy.



at least iie stiu talk and smile.



he totally is like...................................



sit there wait peepos talk tuu him,



AS IF HE IS SOME BIG SHOT.



many asked me why he liddat....



COME ON LEH!



which side of me looks like him?



considering all ways.........







-attitude



*iie am more cheerful and i am more sensitive*



-face



*iie am cute he is handsome but that dont make him cute means not same*



-eyes



*iie look at peepos nicely and look at peepos directly*



-mouth



*iie do open my mouth to talk and someone once said iie had a nice mouth* x3



-nose



*his is higher*



-ears



*iie have 4 ear holes=2 each*



-body size



*hey!it's obvious!iie am bigger,he is so much smaller!*



-legs



*iie yearn for nice legs,but stiu his is smaller*







LOOK!SO MUCH DIFFERENT LA?!

LMCAO~!

iie don see why he stiu commit the mistake when he knows that iie will not like it.

maybe yoo peepos wann tuu say that iie have no right tuu control him,

but yoo ought tuu know that,

if yoo don,he will feel uncared all that...

BEFORE YOO STEP IN TO TALK,

DO GET UR FACTS RIGHT!

WAS I REALLY NO PATIENCE AT ALL?

DID I NOT GIVE HIM CHANCE?

WAS I TOO PETTY?

DID I NOT DO ANYTHING TO HELP?

FORGET IT.

now i have no mood about blogging this ya?

today iie did alot of personality tests and etc.

I AM HAVING A BAD HEACHACHE MAN!

I AM PRETTY STRESS OUT ABOUT KC'S BIRTHDAY CARD!

OH FATHER.............HELP!!!!!!

to:mickey baobei

yoo gotta stay strong ya?although im not that very person that yoo will choose to share things with,

but still thanks for telling me all these things that yoo took courage to tell me.

thanks for being my listening ear and always trying to help me with my birthday card.

yoo are definitely A GREAT ENCOURAGER and I <3>

by:pooh baobei

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HEY FRIENDS OUT THERE.HOW DO YOO THINK ABOUT THIS TEST I TAKE?IS IT TRUE?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing. You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere. And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile. You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about. You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid. Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

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SP!I AM ALSO DRAMA QUEEN OK!

You Are a Drama Queen (or King)

And the oscar goes to... you! You're all about overreacting and just plain acting. You see the world as your stage, and give a great performance. And while you're friends may find you entertaining at times... Everyone's secretly hoping that you'll just chill a little. (But they'd never tell you - they fear your wrath!)

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SO THIS IS WHAT I AM.I REALLY LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT MYSELF.

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional. You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly. Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you. You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature. Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

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wow!CAN YOO BELIEVE IT?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

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THATS TRUE BA!

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrifice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

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hey hey!check it out man

You are Ready to Date Again

If you're not out there already, you should be. Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship. Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage. Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him. Now, on to a better guy :-) It's time for you to start dating! Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites. Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights.

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YOU SEE!YOU SEE!OH MAN~~~~

You Are an Intense Kisser

When you kiss, it's deep and powerful You don't take kissing lightly Your kisses always have meaning And they always make your head spin

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IT's TRUE!iie love to be kiddy!

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

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You Are 84% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgmental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

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You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. You break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

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You Are 63% Perfectionist

You are a true perfectionist. You are both demanding of yourself and others. While it's great to have goals and standards, they don't need to be sky high!

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You Are the Sense of Sound

You love to talk, but you also love to listen. You are simply a natural conversationalist. You can have a deep conversation that lasts for hours and come out of it feeling energized. You have a good ear for foreign languages and accents of all sorts. You can imitate people quite well. You also are a huge lover of music. You probably love music more than most people you know.

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my dog's name is BOBO![real dog k!] What Bobo Means

B is for Babycakes O is for Only Love B is for Babyface O is for Old Fashioned Love

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What Delphine Means

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

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