ermmmm.
i think i am really becoming a panda soon.
hurhur!
i am really tired!
oh yeah.i forgot to say,
xueting now has learnt to wear contact lens.
she bought a purple one..
it is quite nice though!
haha!


my owner had gone to malaysia yesterday..
sobs!i am so lonely liddat luhh!
no one sms me all that..
like no one sayang me liddat.
totally slack today..
my friend june was not here.
sadded.
i felt so insecure!!!!!!!!!
my gosh*
it had been long since i felt insecured!
no june and worse no panda owner.
suddenly i am lost with what i am doing.
totally lost!
i wanted to pon class..
but hmmm ya...
i still ended up in the class..
right at the back.
so was talking to two of my friends,Liang and Alan.
they are really in the dark side..
they are real negative..
i think i have been playing the light side..
T.T
but they are really nice people..
i think they deserve better:)
i will keep them pregnant in my spirit((:
by faith..
yes..(((:


i want to be positive:)
yes,positive!
i want to be a good girl..
a good panda..
a good member..
a good cogc(:
i want to strike a balance between all these!
WOOTS!
jiayou,kawaii panda!
LOVES!

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oh yes! i think i am damn absent minded
for drawing $30,
take the card and never take the money.
*faints*
when i go back,no more!GONE!
haiz!
how absent minded can me,his panda be?
gosh*

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ni de hui hua ling la zhe
你的绘画凌乱着
zai zhe ge shi ke
在这个时刻
wo xiang qi fen quan pang de bai ge
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
tan mi san luo le
甜蜜散乱了


qing xu mo ming de la che
情绪莫名的拉扯
wo hai ai ni ne
我还爱你呢
ban ni duan duan xu xu chang zhe ge
伴你断断续续唱着歌
jia zhuang mei shi le
假装没事了


shi jian guo le zhuo le
时间过了走了
ai qing mian li xuan zhe
爱情面临选择
ni leng le juan le wo ku le
你冷了倦了我哭了


yi kai shi de bu kuai le
一开始的不快乐
ni yong ka pian shi xie zhe
你用卡片拭写着
you xie ai zhi gei dao zhe zhen de dong le
有些爱只给到这真的懂了


zen me le ni lei le shuo hao de xing fu ne
怎麽了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
wo dong le bu shuo le ai tan le meng yuan le
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
kai xin yu bu kai xin yi yi xu shuo zhe ni zai bu she
开心与不开心 一一叙说着 你在不舍
na xie ai guo de gan jue dou tai shen ke wo dou hai zi de
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得


ni bu deng le shuo hao de xing fu ne
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
wo cuo le lei gan le fang shou le hou hui le
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了


zhi shi hui yi de yin yue he hai xuan zhuan zhe yao zen me ting ne
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢


x2


zen me le ni lei le shuo hao de xing fu ne
怎麽了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
wo dont le bu shuo le ai tan le meng yuan le
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
wo dou hai ji de
我都还记得


ni bu deng le shuo hao de xing fu ne
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
wo cuo le lei gan le fan shou le hou hui le
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了


zhi she hui yi de yin yue he hai xuan zhuan zhe yao zen me ting ne
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

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here i am to update lerh!
yeapps!
so,when should i start from??
hmmmmmm.
okayys.
lets talk about sarturday..
i took minghua's wallet on accident..
then i went to return him on saturday to return him..
felt bad..was wondering how he is going to eat without money.
well..but it seems like yeah...
he went off after that..what to do?
hurhur.used to it ba. ((:
so..only left with two girls when i came,
that is Hui Xian and Baobei..
due to me lei-ness,
i was kinda anti-social..
so i saw clement sitting there alone?
so i went to speak to him about what i saw at his blog..
to my amaze,
mingyao they all was looking at us..
it makes clement very awkward..
then he keeps saying they are looking at him
keep asking me to go back..
,_,
kinda awkward..
come to show care kena chased away..
sian..make me xia bu liao tai!
*faints*
hmmms..
then they decided to go jurong point to look for new year's clothes.
so ya..i went with them..so..on the way,
baobei was talking to me about her problems..
she cried..i almost cry too..but held on..
i was trying to hush her down..ya..so yeah,
bet she is feeling better le ba :)

sometimes i feel lousy of myself because whenever
my friends say they are ugly and say i am not,
they have more friends caring for them than me.
sick of all these negative words from themm.
i know it in my heart that no matter how hard i try,
i will never get even half of what they have..
they have care i don't have,
but they always tell me how ugly they are,
how these and that.
then give me all the love and care people gave you!
i switch body with you!
sometimes i think humblity does hurts.
unless your humblity is real.
haiz.
sick of all these..
when i tell them i am ugly,
they will say i am not.
haiz.
is it fact or is it just trying to console me??
haiz..you guys do not seems to understand..
okayy i know,
some of you will say i assume it.
then don't show hidden messages for me to assume,
make sure your verbal tally with your actions!
siann! :(
TSK!

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Phew.
at last i am done with S33's forum.

Heys guy, do come and join our fashion forum!
www.s33family.ning.com
anyone is welcomed! (:

Today i did not give tuition..
i want to give myself some personal space.
today i did the S33 forum and read some notes.
i felt so relaxed.
no longer so tensed up :)

tomorrow need to be in school early again!
gosh*
i am darn tired liaos.
looking forward to this evening's meeting with
my precious, P.ass ! LOVES!

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wow! at last i am done with editing the blog.
*phew*
although it is not purfect luhh.
my first time mahs..
forgive me luhh hor!
HAHA! but i like it..
i think it is cool luhh ((:

my goodness..
financial accounting and statistic is killing me.
i really know nothing about it.
i go there seat down for 3hours,
go out with a *learn nothing* brain!
i am dying le la!
shhh! shHhh!
*must walk by faith*
1....2....poof!
delph delph has erased *walk by sight*
and learnt...*walk by faith* .

today i went to teach my student today again as usual..
very sian luhh!
it is so hot there.
got fan like no fan one!
*faints*
TSK TSK TSK!

my pay is dragggggggged again!
it definitely spoils my day again!
i hate the management there.
don't know what the hell is wrong with it!
yeah,i know that the boss was overseas.
so what?
i mean do i have to tolerate it just cos you did
not prepare for the worst?
TSK!!!!!
haiz.
forget it!
haha!i am looking forward to my meeting with PRECIOUS!





TAGS REPLIED:
Sandy: take care too(:
love yoo too ^^
Shannon: love yoo alot alot O!
Hermano Vicente: yeah,thanks. i will wait patiently for it (:

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i want to remember this night.
a night,a dinner with P.ass and kenneth.
thankyou so much for making the effort to come.
P.ass , you are the best((:
Kenneth,you are always so promise-fulfilling(:
thankyou both of yoo..
yoo guys make my day,water my anger and lighten
my dark day(:
we had a dinner at Cafe CArtel,
P.ass ate creamy mushroom pasta,
i ate tictatoe platter
and kenneth ate Fish and Chips.
unknowingly,Kenneth gave us a treat.
Thankyou Kenneth!

********************************************************

saturday morning 9am,
i have to rush to Sarah's(my student) house to give tuition.
you know?
i am really tired.
all my days make me cooped up like a hen!
arghhh!
i want to break free!
i am so tired..that i felt so pek chek!
i need someone to empathise with me.
school load is driving me crazy.
i am trying real hard to strike a balance between
# cell group
# lessons
# projects
# reach-outs
# connect group
# relations ; friendship
# car lesson
# financial problem i have with myself
# financial problem at home
# bible studies
# probation from parents

ARGHHHHH!
i am going crazy!
i need someone to really love me.
i don't know..
suddenly i want so much a person to love me,
dote me wholeheartedly..
but i know...
welll....maybe he will appear but definitely not now.
haiz!
i need love..
i need care...
arghhs!
*relac*
okayy..at least i still have Jesus.
but i still need a physical person there!
----------ENDED-----------

i need someone to love me doesn't mean i will anyhow
hop into a relationship!
and i don't!
i get to know a guy named Winston!
OMY OMY!
he says what i very pretty.
hey!someone with eyes knowing i am NOT! =X
i hate it when people praise me wrongly!
so ya..well well!
i have no chemistry with him!
so NO WAY!
NO NO NO!
and i also don't think it is the right time to
get into a relationship too!
so yeah.no no!
i want a husband-criteria not a boyfriend that
i can find anywhere~
so..yeah..and there is nothing from the top to
the bottom,from the left to the right that i can
fall for him for!
so..yeah..far toooooo away from my basic expectations.
i think i rather choose the P.P or K.C instead of him!
HAHAHAHA! ROARS~
he is darn irritating!
simply got enough of him!
gosh! i am actually *scared of him!
so..gonna stay a distance from him..
no personal time with him..
i don't know him well,cant possibly gauge what he will do.
right?right?
NO,left!HAHA! *entertaining myself* =XxX
SP and his father also think he is a dangerous guy!
okayys.for this topic :

**************ENDED****************

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whoa.
very very tired..
*yawns*
studying and working..
so packed.
no time for shopping nothing at all.
tired ahhh
roars!


Schedule of this remaining days of the week:
Friday : 2pm-5pm school
night - dinner with cogcs
Saturday : 9am-11am tutoring
2pm-5pm school
6pm-?pm li xin's birthday
Sunday : 8am-9.30am car lesson
11am-2.30pm? service
3pm onwards needa help parents

so tiring!roars!
i will be missing alot of peepos.
nevermind,be strong!
i made a decision and i will work towards it,
no matter what comes may(:
cheer on, P.ass!
LOVEs yoo!

To people who loves to discriminate others :
be careful.you reap what you sow.
i shall not curse yoo nor hate yoo
for i will be on the same level as yoo.
please learn to carry yourself like a human
not a cunning fox or snake.
((: wake up. it's never too late.

TAGS REPLIED :

• baobei : thanks! i won't think too much luhh(:
• minghua : yeah..it is really alot lo! *faints* and i vomitted so much luhh! ya! i saw your tags!!
• Joyce : thanks for coming(:
• shannon : *poke* you back!
• hermano vicente : hermanita delph delph will work hard! thankyou (((:
• shannon : yeah babe, i will jia you de,cos i know you are always there(:

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whoo! tomorrow need to hand up my business communications de homework liaos. it is like so hard luhh. but tomorrow after MPO i will have to chiong.
加油 ! delph delph ~!
i gotta work hard, clear all my subjects with As! shine for God and shine for my parents. i want to be a good testimony! ((: at home.. at school.. at church.. and at cell group.. this time round no unnecessary of pon-ing classes. bind it bind it bind it in Jesus's name! i have been teaching a primary 2 student Chinese at Parc Oasis. the pay is quite low,just that i am trying to get experience luhh. they are quite nice to me though(: i must EXCEL! i hope i can attend church this week,every week and cellgroup! pleaseeeee pleaseeeeeee!

Labels: don't be like a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass . You don't have to let the negative comment affect you. ((:, If someone says anything negative about you

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Labels: 只要努力付出，幸福就会来敲门

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well. i have my last service together with my S33 (:

well, though did not really spend time,

but it's okayy luhh(:

some of them were there with me to visit Cynthia.

thanks all(:

actually i really felt drifted with them.

but like what MingYao told me,

i shall not live in fear for i have God.

In the Bible it says,

"All things is possible with God."

i think i should really be IN with God's things.

will have to go for sunday service.

well..i guess i just have to gel myself up with God.





sometimes i do really get drained when reaching out.

i am really so frustrated.

sometimes it seems like no matter how hard i try,

things just don't work out.

maybe i have rely too much on myself?

and the fact that i have HIGH EXPECTATIONS of myself.

times after times i expect myself to do things really well.

i take things far too seriously that when i fall,

i got desperate and break down easily.

i am kinda so drained,seriously.





i always say i need comfort,

why?

why i always down Down DOwn DOWn DOWN!?

i hate myself for being like a real harvester.

i mean i feel like i should not be sad liddat,ya?

cos i have God,

but why do i still feel sad?

i mean it is weird for me?!





i feel like screaming the peepos' heads off saying,

"I need love just like other girls need okayy?!
just that i don't portray my weakness to you guys!
why?cos i am just too afraid i will get even more
sorrows when i show yoo i am sad and you leave me alone!
i am far to fearful to be hurt. This is far too sensitive for me.
i know i have to try to open myself up again,but you
know how afraid i am? times after times i am hurt again and
again. i do not have this courage to show my weak side.
I know through God,all is possible, but you guys aren't even
CLOSE to me. The mouth keep saying i love you also no use,you guys
understand?i feel no love. and the way you guys look at me at times
are like as if i am doing something wrong but the worse part
is you guys say "nothing".well..then why look at me with that kind
of eyes? I can say i hate you guys to be biased against the others.
have i not put in effort? just that i don't show. BIASED! you guys
are BIASED! No matter how much effort i put in, it is never gonna be
put into use. You may not think you did that, recall all the friendships
you guys have with me! good? did you guys befriend me because you
guys have to or because you guys really wanna befriend me??
i hate fakers! unreal people. you never know how much an unreal person
can hurt you until you faced them. The reason i am being real is because
i want you to know who i am. Though i admit i don't show my weakness.
other than that i am who i am. Accept me for who i am,cant? Go away!
i am tired of pleasing you guys! well.. peace(:"


OKAY, i have poured out all i wanted to say.
E-N-D!
in the rest of 2009,
i will look at them with a clean paper again and shall not
rake the past (:
tata!

Labels: 我愛你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。

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my bestie's leg is swollen.
and what.
she got admitted to Alexandra hospital.
from a scratchh to become swollen.
*sayang*
i am like damn worried for her luhh!!
people who cares,go visit her okayys?(:
spread your love o!

Visiting Hours:
12.00 pm - 2.00 pm
5.00 pm - 8.00 pm

Only 2 visitors are allowed to visit a patient at any time.

please,
everyone let's pray for her okayys!!

God,
I pray for that Cynthia will be healed in Your name,
all swollen-ness will be binded in Jesus's name!
In Jesus's name I pray,Amen!



thankyou my precious,shannon for her MP4.
this MP4 of hers is a precious to her and she lent it
to me on 1 Jan 2009.
it definitely accompanied through my dark night.
thankyou so much precious.
any loving words shall be updated on the next post(:

today i vomitted 5 times!
GOSHHH!i am so blotted!
i did not eat much.
but i am just not feeling well.
AND what?
today i went to eat dinner at Benten Cafe.
Let the pictures speak(((:

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HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU (:


i went to watch bedtime stories and went countdown
at Padang field there.
i should say it supposed to be fun,
just that i am locked up in my own comfort zone
and in my very own world which no ones can come in.
i am very upset indeed.
"can't be bothered." is just the irony way of saying for me perhaps.
i just feel helpless ba?
hahs.
well.just so me.
i was very high during movie.for the sake of friends.
when they are gone,
i am back to myself (:
sorry to the people who were there.
i know i am emo,
it is just that i couldn't get out from it.
i just feel like a hen,
so cooped up in the cage.
very pressurized and stressed.
really really very.

despite that,
i still want to give thanks to :

SHANNON
SOON PENG
KENNETH
XUE TING
WILSON
KEVIN

for pei-ing me to mrt.
i feel the love ((:
i feel the comfort,
though i am in my own world,
but i can still feel it,definitely.

yesterday was like no buses.
i have to walk home.
i walked like for 2hours?
the people who i tried to call can't be reached.
one reached le told me to walk home.
thanks ah!
sadded.
almost fainted @.@
i was so down,
i couldn't stop crying.
the things i had done,
the fact i am abandoned because of my "family background"
all that..
the effort i tried to connect with all my members yet failed
for this VERY PARTICULAR PERSON,
breaking trust here and there.
i can't believe what a **** person i am.
i decided to call my kor(:
ya indeed, reachable.
i poured out ALL my feelings to him.
he never fails to light up my dark nights.
never fails to make me smile.
he is knowledgeable and understanding.

THANK YOU, JEFFREY.


meanwhile,
i think i want to change my style.
from craziness to quietness.
and more.
my hair,my dressing,my thinking and etc.
i want to increase the capacity of my tolerance and more.
good luck for myself for that.

"Walk by faith and not by sight."

i had a bad start for 1 Jan 2009.
negative feelings.
negative things upon me.
no understanding from parents.
scoldings upon scoldings.
sighh.
i am sick of all these.
ARGHHH!
i don't care!!
don't wanna care!!
can't care either!!

Let it go is the solution (:
i don't want to make myself heavier either.
i wann to move on.
yes i do.

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i want to stop all these in Jesus's name,
under Jesus's care and in Jesus's love.

let my 2008 be of my past.
i really hope all these ends before 2009.
i don't want to bring it to 2009!
no No NO!
pleaseeee.

today i went to meet bestie at jurong point!
she is sick..
gonna pray for her.
YOU AH!better take care of yourself.
if not i gonna bring yoo go see doctor le hor!
we talked alot as usual(:
i loveeeeeeeeeeee her lots <3>laogong's care these days(:
thanks for being defensive for me.
loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ya <3>

0 comment[s] | back to top

D is a p p o i n t e d !



why so many people just can't be trusted?
or is it i think too much again?
sigh.
do you guys know how harddddd
is it for me to come back with a clean paper?
in the past,
you all are just among yourselves.
i complained.
i thought it was me not taking initiative.
but now?
how many times must these friendship bond be broken and mended?
i am sick of all these.
things after things happening BEHIND my BACK.
if it is things that doesn't include me,
FINE!
but the thing is it includes me!!!!!
AND i don't know a ****-*** about it!
ARGHHHHH!
our quarrel is none of his business!
it is me, stupid me, go and give the present in the public!
i am the one at wrong,
STOP giving him stress!
he is already very guilty!!
1person scolded by so many people.
it is supposed to be only ONE PERSON KNOWING this.
how did it spreads to other people?
sigh!
fine.i am in no right to say this person spread it or whatever.
i can't assume either.
FINE FINE FINE!!!
ARGHHH!
CRYSSSSS! :'(
you guys make me want to run away from ALL OF YOU.
how do i face all of you with a clean paper again?
i tried it,
yet you guys burn it secretly and left a burnt mark
on my clean paper.
i am falling back to the well again!
i hate myself.
dragging people into problems,
lying to people,
making people angry all that!


i begin to doubt.
am i an accomplice of Satan?
am i drawing away from God?
this week,
going for s*****e .
i don't know how to face them,
i don't even know who have known this matter,
sighh!


sorry friend,
i got yoo into so much discipling.
i am sorry to have not been sensitive with my actions
and causing you into deep trouble.
sorry that i affected you.
really sorry.
your apologies to me make my heart sank.
tears start flowing in sorrows.
i am so sorry.
my actions caused you so much.
i am deeply sorry.

现在的我充满罪恶感。。

非常对不起。。

我不是有意的。。


一分一秒不停的走动。。

我却一直走不出来。。

你们口中的话，让我半信半疑。。

到底我应该相信谁呢？

唉！

我快疯了！

did i disappoint all of yoo ,

or did you all disappoint me?

sorry to cause so much problems
for all of you.

replies to my candy bin:
SHANNon : hmmms . i think i shall not say much(:
Sandy : i am still trying. thanks though.

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updating about my life.


i had a tiff with polarguin.
it is really irritating at times.
i think there are alot of things that are not unleashed.
i think i just need to unleash!
forget it.
now i also no mood for it already.

i am very cooped up.

守着只有自己懂的秘密好难受!

明明不是我要的，却变成全部都是我的错。

也许是我自找的吧？为什么要承担这么大的事情？

头没这么大就别带这么大的帽子啊！

我受不了我自己。

很烦耶！

大家，请不要告诉我秘密。

我的罪恶感没有比任何人少！

我也很愧疚，很难过。

我毕竟也是人啊！

有我失落的时候啊！

与其在那里逼问我。不如来安慰我！

你们只想到自己的感受。。

那我呢？我答应别人不能说了。

要我怎么办？

你以为我过得很快活吗？

我也很烦，很压力！

will you all feel for me and stand in my shoes to think?
haiz!
i am sick of all these.
i am so worried that i may just leave !
i am worried,stressed up,upset,guilty and many many mixed feelings.
why me?
i have high expectations of myself.
but i lied to mingyao.
i feel so condemned.
so so condemned.
i did not want to.
i tried to reveal to you.but on the spot,the person denied,
how do i explain and reveal?
maybe i am just useless.
maybe i did not set my priorities right.
like you say,i am not helping the person,
i am teaching the person to lie and be the accomplice
of the whole incident.
ya,i am this kind of people.
be it then.
i am imperfect.
not even close to good.
i am just an ordinary girl who wants to keep my promise.
who wants to lie to their leader whom he/she loves and respects alot?
perhaps only ME?

解释就是掩饰，对吗？

this time i am hit.
no matter how surroundings people try to stumble me
with their hurting words,
i can get out of it with the Word of God.
but how do i get out of it when it is a annointed person of God?
how do i forgive myself to lie to the God annointed person?

我试着去原谅我自己，

但我就是放不过我自己.

i feel so low spirit.
sighh.

to the girl who asked me.
"sorry that i never tell yoo.is not i don't treat yoo like a cg.
is that i am told to keep a secret.
i seek your understanding."

i need time to cool down my life ((':

Labels: how do i forgive myself?

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guilt feels me.
i helped someone lie to the leader.
but i was trying to stop any problem from occurring.
but i was wrong.
i did not set my priorities right.
but i did not want to lie.
when mingyao asked,
i said he bought it.
i thought he was ok with telling mingyao.
but he denied it.
and i had to lie even to my leader.
suddenly i feel so distant.
because i told a lie to a leader.
sigh.
leave me alone.
i need some repentance i think.

i will be back again.
nites all :|

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Happy birthday shannon老公 ((:

i am honoured to be the whole thing planner for her birthday.

LAWLS.

i made sure FOUR LEAVES cake is there no matter what.

some say ,"MUST FOUR LEAVES AH?!DIE DIE MUST FOUR LEAVES?"

of course luhh.

a promise is still a promise!


i make sure she get it.


i know she loves it(:


so there it goes..


a FOUR LEAVES BIG CHOCOLATE CAKE from White Sands.


thanks to polarguin(:


i did her a windmill birthday card.


HEHE!


i wann to make it special for her.


i knew how she felt last year..


things are always expected,


so..i made it a UNEXPECTED de.


HAHA!


i am very glad she is very happy and surprised(:


she sent me a message which made me feel really satisfied.


there it goes,

"Bestie! Thanks so much! I love you. i dunno how to express

myseld in person but wad i wanna say was that i had an unexpected,

memorable, surprisin birthday. U made my day never be the same.

i m thankful i had u! c: merry xmas."

obviously i will feel very happy lor!

it have been so long i received a affirmation.

it is tiring to do everything on my own liddat.

when i needed help that day,

no one was available!

luckily got spencer!

i gotten the bluetack.

if not,sure die one lo!

THANK YOU SPENCER.

i have been very tired throughout all these days.

waking up early and all that.

making up..

trying to reach friends through my house phone!

i have hell about it.

i feel so heavy on my feet.

one week being put on kite by 3 peepos.

sian half way.

or cynthia,i forgive her.

i understand(:

well..

i am shagged.

from 24dec till 25dec.

i am on turbo..no sleep at all.

*faints*

i feel like sleeping for days and months!!

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我可以忍受
你不夠愛我
我可以忍受
你有別的夢就算是編謊話騙我
至少你還在乎我的感受
我可以忍受
眼神的空洞
我可以忍受
你時間不夠用卻不能忍受
做了那麼多
是她擁有
我該得到的溫柔愛上你
是我改不了
也不願改的習慣
要放開哪有那麼簡單
瞭解你
是我說不出
也不承認的悲哀包容你
是我體諒的愛
別當作應該我可以忍受
你不夠愛我
我可以忍受你有別的夢
就算是編謊話騙我
至少你還在乎我的感受
我可以忍受眼神的空洞
我可以忍受
你時間不夠用卻不能忍受
做了那麼多
是她擁有
我該得到的溫柔
Oh no no no
不要說
對不起
原來你要的不是我
(你要的是什麼)
不要說
謝謝你
什麼你永遠在我心中
(你說的我都不懂)
Can you tell me why? (tell me why)
這樣的我
你也曾愛過
不是嗎 (不是嗎)
是她擁有
我沒看過的笑容

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today i meet GCB.
hehe!
secret for why..
hehe!
ask me personally if you want to know!
HOHO!
i love the kids at Waterfalls student care centre.
i love me.
i love them too(:

tags replies:

sandy : LOL!this tagboard is lousy.

i cant seemed to reply ):

gonna reply in post(:

vicente : updated XD thanks for being my *fans*.

haha!!anyway!i will cook for yoo next time luhh(:

don't jealous..don't jealous =XxXx

polarguin : haha!is it?i tot yoo told me you are full????

anyway..next time then cook for yoo(:

cynthia : YOU NOW THEN KNOOOWWW!

so lagg luhh!

must change ur 10 legs to x10 speed =xXx catchup soon!LOVES<3

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yesterday i slept on 4plus am and woke up at 6plus am..
because i wanna go and pei baobei..
help her take care of people and carry the burden with her..
at the mean time give her support..

then i rushed down for service(:

gotten two more stones(:

HAHA!

at the night i felt God speaking to me..

i start calling Adeline.

spoke right into her heart.

she started to cry..

i sang all the worship songs i knew for 1 hour plus

during the weepings.

then asked her to pray after me.

then ask her to pray in holy spirit out loud.

she did(:

then i heard God's words..

and started to prophercise over her life..

at the end of it..

we sang two praise songs..

and she told me this,

"i felt God's presence so strong just now.Thankyou.I felt total relieved."

immediately,my lousy feelings had been cleared..

i am so happy to help her(:

i can sense a change in the spirit of her.

thank God(:

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i have been *ha-chewingg~* for alot of times..
is like as if someone miss me greatly.
._.
can't be also!
no boyfriend also ahh!
aiya~
don't care luhh!
today went cell group..
i brought fried rice for them..
but rarely people eat..
i shoud have expected right?
they may have eaten le right?
yea luhh..
don't want to brood about either
i am tired ):
*yawns*

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this other girl is called jia ying(:

sh is actually very closed up one..

but after i came....

she became very close to me.

haha..must be i very loving ba(:

she is always not interested in work as she cannot really think properly.

sadded right?

aiya..gonna believe she will improve with my guidance(:

HOHO!that is alot of faith , prayer and patience needed(:

yeah.i think the work is not bad luhh(:

i want to move up to the next level..

so wanna try different thing =J

trust myself and God ba(:

i went for car lesson today at 6.30pm today..

not bad...no accident ma!

HAHA! LAWRS ;p

tomorrow need to work from 8am to 5.30pm!

it is going to be reallyyy tiring D:

need to wake up at 6.30am..

sian half way J=

thanks to baobei's love message..

and vicente-kor's encouragements..

plus the smiles of my little kids..

candy baby is candied today(:

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to brighten the last post...

i have found a job at redhill..

at waterfall studentcare as a assistant teacher..

working hours : 8.30am - 7pm

PRAISE THE LORD(:

thankyou for the job,daddy(:

i am looking forward to friday and saturday!

today vicente kor blessed me some money.

thanks so much,vicente!

be happy luhh,CANDY BABY (:

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suddenly i feel that i seems to have changed alot.
my life changes.
my thinking changes.
my attiude changes.
even my bestfriend seems to be changed.
i no longer can be their encourager.
no longer can be their listener.
just because?
i can't stand it when they are georgy.
when i talk to them..
they just nod their head and say ya..and ya....
then go home they are still looking down on themselves..
people around are so busy about work and financial crisis!
and what is there to look down on yourself when
it is obvious you are not ugly?
everytime you look down on yourself,
you affects me..
you are pretty and you will say,"aiya..you cannot understand me de la."
and you will say what they say to you..
AND!
hello???
all these irritating and esteem-killer words,
you keep it in your heart.
what about all the encouragements and sincere praises we told you?
all go in one ear and out one ear?
sick Sick SIck SICk SICK!
ARGHH!
why do i not speak to you?
because you told me before most of the things i said,
you disagree most of the times.
you are my bestfriend.
other disagree i can understand..
but even you feel that..
you think only u will have no confidence?
i have lost all my confidence to speak and encourage!
you say you yoU yOU YOU..
what about meeee?
i don't even have the motivation to even do such thing anymore!
when i tell myself,"i can de."
the words you told me rings my mind..
i feel so lousy of myself.
i left you out there not to let you be alone.
in that i can't fulfill your wants!
only those people out there can!
i am tired.
in many friendships,
i have sunk into the well.
now come to our turn liao.
sigh!
sick ; sad ; wu zhu.
what else?
you are not the only one who is tired.
i am too.
at least you have your guy friends.
what do i have?
my turn to say,"you will never understand de la!"
i am so drained out..
i need fresh air..
and the only love i can really feel is love of god.
that is why every friday and saturday is days i look forward to..
i need to renew my mind.
i need peace.
i need love.
i am tired.
so tired...
i am still holding on..
just that i am sinking right into the "absorbing mud" soon.

will you hold on to me?
or will you choose to let go?

candy baby is losing some of her sweetness J,=

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i may be a little more and more distant from people..
BUT,
at the same time,I am trying to draw near(:
today i am tired J:
update again soon((:
i looking forward to meeting Vicente tml at jurong point(:

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