B E . S T R O N G

she is going to kill her emotions!

SHoooOOOOOO SADNESS!

shoooooOOOOOOOOOO~

*cast shooing spell*

*waves goodbye to sadness and selfishness*

hmmm..i think i really needs alot of reflections...

on myself..

things i have done..

words i have spoken..

thoughts i have thought...

attitude i have given...

unhappiness that i have spreaded..

smiles that has lessen..

selfishness that had gained..

i talked about i,me,myself..

especially these few days...

why am i so bothered by things around me?

have i neglected peepos around me?

why have i lose my "caring and encouraging" side of me?

i feel that i have caused so much problems these few days..

so i wanna apologise here.

TO JEFFREY:

"Thank you for telling me about I,me,myself is

selfishness and considered self-centred.

Thank you for keeping me in touch even when you

are really tired out..

Always making the effort to think of verses,

ways of talking and encouragements to charge me up..

Yet i disappoint you again and again..

I am sorry for neglecting your life problems.

I am sorry that i was not there when you needed someone..

Always thinking about my problems,

telling you my problems...

I want to tell you that words spoken to me,

i remember..i am trying to digest it and put it into action..

Sorry to be the 1st one to let you feel that consoling and

encouraging me pains your heart and soul."

TO MINGYAO(CGL):

"I am sorry to disappoint you..again and again..

I am sorry that i did not prioritise things..

I am sorry i focused so much on my personal needs

and neglected the cg.

I am sorry that i was not accountable to you until you

asked me.

I am sorry that i am so immature.

I know simple sorries cannot do anything.

I promise i will try..

Try to put S33 before my personal needs.

To stop dwelling in my past.

Thanks for your tolerance and guidance.

I will reflect."

TO XUETING(Mickey baobei):

Sorry for any hurt that i may have caused to you unknowingly.

Sorry for always debating so much with you.

Sorry that i wasn't the one there for you when you needed someone.

Sorry that if i have broken the trust between us.

I never thought of all these.

I have learnt to think before i talk..

i will learn to be one.

Thank you for always trying to be there for me,

despite of my slack attitude and negative comments."

TO SANDY:

Sorry that i did not account to you though you are my COGL.

Sorry that i let things be told to you by others and not by myself.

Sorry that i always do things without asking you or informing you.

Thank you for your tolerance and your grace.

Really..your grace and tolerance had touched me.

Efforts you made is visible to me.

I will start changing..

Give me time to prove..

I will,i know i can."

TO SHANNON:

"Sorry for always treating you like a trash bin..

Throwing all my tantrums,attitude and frustrations onto you.

i know you really had a hard time tolerating such a person like me.

But you chose to keep quiet because you treat me as your friend.

All these while,through the difficult times of my life,

you tried to be there,tried to not ask qns that is sensitive..

I know you took alot of courage to do some things for me.

Sacrificing your money and time for me.

THE 108 CHUPPA CHUPPS lollipops..

THIS,I WILL NEVER FORGET.

everytime i look at it,my heart warms up..

i hug the chuppa chupps you gave..

weeping in tears and crying to God

about what i can do for you..

why am i not sensible enough?

why am i so SELFISH?

why i can't even bring joy and peace to my BEST friend?

Really sorry...really really sorryy...

no amount of words can express my gratitude and apologies towards you.

Thank you so much.

Your sacrifices are RECOGNISED!"

TO LI XIN:

Sorry that i showed you attitude on saturday night(13/09/08)

i know you care.just that i cannot comprehend it.

i know you are worried for me.yet i choose to stand firm with my

choice.i told you i hate gossips.i said i hate peepos spreading

things about me without me knowing it..

But now i know it is all to help me.

It is not about spreading but getting someone who is more

suitable to talk to me.

Yes,i admit i could not accept.

But i will try..really..

Thanks for being the STAR that always smiles and brights my life."

TO MING HUA:

i know you have always try to help me as much as you can.

Always rendering your help to me,

not expecting anything in return.

Sorry that i always take you for granted.

But i really never treat you transparent.

Sorry that all these long years of knowing each other,

i have rely too much on you.

having too high expectations of you yet always doing

nothing back in return to you.

Sorry that i always never reply your smses..

I have my dilema too..

really..just too much for me at that point of time.

But now,it ends here.

Everything got to come to an end.

I will stop the not replying sms attitude.

Not going to rely too much on you.

Not going to have high expectations.

I have no right to do so,i know.

I am sorry.

Thank you for always being there when the worst really comes.."

I am really sincere with the above apologies.

I feel that i really owe them an apology and a change.

They had really tried to help..

I don't want to use any more excuses to cover my wrongs.

I want to admit all that i have done.

I want a change and desperately needs it!

I hate this "me" that is so selfish!

but out of a sudden,

i feel uneasy to post at my blog..

if i were to post too much about my thinkings and my feelings,

won't it show i talk about myself again?

HMMMMM.

it's tough.......

nevermind...

hmmmmmmmm....

then better end here.

*waves*

[ [ CANDY BAY-B ] ] shall not say much.

she eats her lollipop

and focus on spreading

sweetness to bitter souls.

Labels: I AM LEARNING TO LET GO.give me time

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