5 cents worth
Will a couple lost that lovey dovey feeling after being together for very long?
Since yesterday, I had been thinking about how I am feeling and of course how my dear boy feels.. We had been dating for 4 years and about coming to 3 months..
Nowadays when he comes and fetch me, I can no longer feel that excitement in him..
Maybe, we have become so used in the way that "Well, we are seeing each other everyday, literally. What's there to miss and you know, excited about?"
Maybe, we are just so tied down with all the burdens on our shoulders.
Maybe, he is tired.
And I am afraid that one day he might just decide that he is tired of me already.
I don't like my relationship to be mundane, because I feel that it will just make us lose the sparks in our relationship.. Apparently, he don't feel so.
He was saying he wished he had a simple life.
Simple life, what does it exactly mean?
Everyone's definition of simple life is different, isn't it?
I am trying my very best to give him the kind of simple life he wants.
I still do not exactly know how.
There are so many insecurities and "what-ifs" in my mind.
I still wonder, what does his simple life means...
Hopefully, one day I will fully understand..
Give me a break, brain .
Sometimes, all I want is a good rest, not just for my body, but also my soul.
I am afraid all that I believed was not what it really is.
Maybe it was, in the beginning.
However, as time pass by, people change.
Do I still be like who I was, always asking people how they think about me?
Or, should I just go based on my instinct?
I think I had been living for others for all these years.
I always ask myself the reason why.
Probably because I am fat?
Probably because I think I am not pretty?
Probably because I feel stupid that I am not able to comprehend many things?
Probably because I think I am still too immature?
Probably I don't even know what is considered mature!
Oh my!
I think I suffer very bad self-esteem and confidence.
Sometimes I wonder, if I slim down, will there really be more people who like me?
What if, actually it is me myself that they don't like?
Like, they don't like my attitude, my personality and all?
This- will be the greatest breaking point of my life, really.
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I worth your time?
Do you really love me for who I am?
Will you leave me just like 2 years ago?
I am lacking the confidence of being loved, again.
Still upset
I guess he still don't feel he is wrong.
Somehow, I still feel upset over this matter.
I don't even know how to treat him now?
I feel unloved.
at the same time, I feel *forget it, kthxbye*
reckless or something?
weĺl..
we shall see how it goes..
My Mom
This lady heard me being angry with my boyfriend on the phone.
And guess what she says?
" Don't treat Joel like that. Your figure already like that, who else still want you?"
Wow. She really had to say this. Really.
It hurts.
It just dampened my soul for the effort put into trying to slim down.
And I feel that she should just go be his mom and not mine.
I don't know if anyone who read my blog feels that I'm immature for posting this.
that I need to know how much she.loves me ,cares for me, blah blah blah.
sorry.
I can't be on the same side with you.
come go through what I do before you judge.
kthxbye.
SMS VS CALL
I am in utter disappointment that you say that it is ok not to reply SMS, if need be just CALL.
If I think it is appropriate to call, why don't I?
if I think its convenient to call, why don't I?
I hate this.
really.
and so you say you are fine with me not replying your SMS because anyway you think if really need reply, just CALL me.
I am in a total disappointment.
I feel dumb.
why am I so stupid?
GAH.
Time flies
Time really flies.
I have grown up to 24 years old this year.
I went back to read my past posts and realized "Wow.. I was sucha sad kiddo."
It seemed like I am always in the same problem..
Can I stop the time when the happy moments start?
