What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment   You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Losing Someone	 
Being Alone	 
Where Your life is Going	 
Looked down on	 
Commitment	 
Death	 
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz ,

This is a quiz I went to Prince's blog and found it quite interesting.
So i went to do it.
So this is my result!
HAHA :D actually it is quite true. *LOL*
Fun loving, energetic and cheerful!
Isn't it SO TRUE?
HAHAHA -laughs-
Adrenaline rushes and going out at night!
YES! I love to go and play and be out in the night with friends!
I will stay strong though (:

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BBQ @ Kovan with the greatest people!
s33 + N234 + all the friends~

It is really a great BBQ and a successful ones.
I manage to talk to EVERYBODY!
like sooo soo WOOHOO?!
HAHAHA :D

Chee long sent me home as promised!
YAY :D sooo happy!
how happy will it be to make a new friend
who keeps his promise and really put it into action!
VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! (:

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Why are there always so many comparisons?

My mother will always compare me with others.
It really hurts especially she compare me with my best friend(s).
Compare my body shape,
compare my studies,
compare my status,
compare the amount of pay I have,
compare my walking style,
compare my study level,
compare compare compare!

Not just my family,
even the new people I met.
They will compare either.
Compare me with the girl friends I am with.
Compare body shape,
compare openness,
compare talking style,
compare attitude,
compare amount of smiles,
compare how one laugh,
compare how this and that.

Not just family and friends,
even teachers compare.
Compare results,
compare study attitude,
compare your facial expression,
compare how you write the words,
compare how you sit,
compare your life span of attention,
compare and compare and compare.

I really detest comparison.
It only makes me feel condemned.
Whenever I try to build my self confidence and self esteem,
comparisons will never fail to pull me down.
I think the reality will not be able to accept people
who are real in ALL their thinking and emotions.
And I find it very contradicting.
People claimed that they hate the masks people put on their
faces and fake their emotions.
However, the fact is that they themselves can't accept
the truth that people reveal & the true emotions that people show.
It just mark how selfish a person can be.

I think I am very naive.
The naiveness refers to my thinking that there is no truly
bad person in the world & everyone can be trusted.
How naive I can be?
This naive thinking was held close in my heart.
That is because I feel that everybody have a good and a bad side.
So no one will be totally bad.
I feel that everyone should have the chance to be trusted
even if he/she once cheated on others before.
I do not know why, but deep in my heart, I feel that
every person who cheated on others will really hope that
there will be that 1 person to believe in them.
I really don't want to judge them according to what they
ever done in their past.
I feel that they won't want people to look down on them
and compare them with people who have clean records.

I really don't like to be compared with people.
I do not want to lose that love in me and turn into a selfish person.
I don't want, really.


** I am just writing my feelings (:
*** I will lift it up to God and move on (:

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Spiritual :

1) Reach out to 5 friends.

2) Read through the whole bible.

3) Pray at least half an hour a day.

4) Bible study till victorious living.

5) Fast every Wednesday.

6) To be promoted to OM. =X


Personal :

1) Slim down 10kg.

2) Debt-free
- Pay all my bills and debts.
- No borrowing of money.

3) Get a good job.
-Currently waiting for the person to contact me on Mon for a job called QC(Quality Checks)

4) Save a total of $4,000,put aside for studies.

5) Try to put on fake eyelashes in replace of thick eyeliner.

6) No more AH-LIAN look.

7) Good countenance always.

8) To go into the next level of maturity.

Relational :

1) Forgive all the people who I used to dislike.
- Drop them a message of apology and tell them I am no longer angry with them and that
I have let go of the past.

2) Give my phone book's friends a goodnight message daily.

3) Do meet ups with friends at least once a week.

Cell group:

1) Step out of my comfort zone and mingle around with everybody in the cell group

2) Avail myself to help out in cg when needed.

3) Forge new relationships with one another not just Adeline and Shannon.

4) Be 100% accountable to Mingyao

5) Be teachable

Family :

1) BE a good testimony
- No more raising of voice
- Go home earlier like before 12am
- Buy / cook for them every sunday
- Help do the laundry
- Work and give them money
- Study hard and get my diploma cert.

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I so so want to get a diploma in make up in Cosmoprof Academy!
It costs $3,424.00 !
It costs a bomb!
But still I think it is the line I want to carve my career in.
I think there will be many people who will object this idea,
but for once, I just want to study the things I want to.
I don't want to live by people's comments and judgment anymore.
It is tiring.
I just want to pursue what I have passion in.


It is so important.
Important to keep you going,
makes your heart burn!
It just gives you the fuel to run further.


p.s I just want to keep on keeping on!

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This is a late post I wanted to post for a long time.
It is about the second time I went clubbing (:
Seriously, I did not have any fun.
Being watched like as if you were someone's burden doesn't feel good at all.
However,I think many couldn't understand.
Some say, "You think too much."
while some say, "Don't think so much la."
Sometimes I just want to go there and let down my hair.
I think in this modern society,
it is not easy to show your true self especially when there are so many people who are out there trying to find a chance to hurt you.
Sometimes, perhaps we had learnt to hide our true feelings too well that we lost ourselves, begin to be unsure of who we really are.
And that is when I think getting some drinks and dance in the club is the one of the easiest way to find out how you truly felt.
I feel that club is the place where people are more accepting and open to all types of people.
I know I am not good-looking, no one will want to tackle me,
but still, I can freely drink and dance the way I want.
No one will stop me, no one will say anything.
Perhaps because they could understand that we are just one of the lost soul who needs to do some findings of ourselves.
Seriously, I am not there to look for relationships or look at some kind of hunks.
I am just there to chill and have fun.
And to me, that is not a bad place.
Perhaps it is because I am too fat and ugly so no one will approach to want to know me as they aren't interested in me.
That's why I won't encounter much problems.
I remembered Juju was there together with Bestie, Best-Tee and me.
Quite some people approached Bestie and Juju.
So when Juju turned to me when approached,
I looked at them and say,"No."
I told her to tell them we are lesbians! :D
haha! what a way right? :)
I want to learn to dance!
Like those real nice and hot moves.
So what even if I am fat and ugly?
God was still blown away when He made me. (:
And I am satisfied.
I do not want to be always so unhappy with life.
Seriously, I feel that it just waste makes me waste my life away.
I do not want to shortchange myself anymore.
And I am moving forward (:

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如果我再也看不见明天の太阳。。。

世界依然会转，
时间依然不会停留，
四季依然继续流转，
彩虹依然有七种颜色，
雨依然会下，
雷依然会那么响亮，
云依然会飘，
太阳依然会从东边升起，
朋友の生活也依然必须继续走下去。。

没有了我，
不好の ：
可能少了些笑声，
可能少了些变脸动作，
可能少了些搞笑の话题，
可能少了一个朋友，
可能少了些糖果吃。。

但不要忘记，我从未是你の全世界。


好の ：
少了些麻烦，
少了些劝我の口水，
少了些不安の心，
少了些猜测，
少了些担心，
少了些愤怒，
少了些我の牢骚，
少了曾因为我而拥有の沉重の心情，
少了些怀疑，
少了些必须拥有才能推动我の力量。。

摆脱了我の控制，这算是一种解脱吧。。

却
多了快乐の时光，
多了发自内心の微笑，
多了一颗更强の心，
多了一些勇气，
多了一个理由让你更加必须好好の活下来，
多了很多可以轻松の日子，
也终于可以耳目清晰了。。

没有了我，是不是比较好呢？(:

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I went for work at Tung Lok today (:
I always look forward to working there.
The reasons are :

• The manager (Vincent) is nice to me.
• The supervisor (Guo wen) is also nice to me.
• The Uncle Pang is SUPER NICE to me.
• Xiu lian is always so loving to me.
• Adeline is there to work with me and hear my thoughts.
• People there are super friendly.
• I love service sectors.
• I got alot of praise and from there, i found confidence and love. Really felt being treasured and noticed. (:
• People there looks at the good side on me instead of the bad side.
• They love my smiles.
• They cherish me.
• They welcome me.
• They love me.
• They always render their help to me.

(: yes, it is that much.
they make me feel, i am no longer that shadow. (:
that makes me feel that i am treasured and wanted.
I am praised by the manager that i am super popular,
and demanded.
He followed me to the tables i go,
even if it wasn't me who take care of the tables,
the people will talk to me and smile.
He said he got blown away.
He said it once to me on the phone,
and today, he praised me in front of EVERYBODY! :D
WOOLA LA!! <3

AND,
i suddenly felt so infatuated with this guy,
gosh. i just can't get my eyes off him~!
GOSH GOSH GOSH!
he is nice, to me la!~ (:
he is 24 years old.
but he told me he is single.
and i asked him why,
he told me perhaps it was because of his high expectations.
SO,
i think, no chance already. sadded.
a chef wanted to get my number for very long already,
but i always have no time to give.
hahs. perhaps this is what i call, NO FATE.
but, they are nice people la.
Today, he told me,"Since i gave you my number mean we r fren ledy."
WOOHOO! friends le!!
no more just work relationship!!
YAY!! :D
okayys.. enough of 发花痴! :DDD



HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY & MARLIN! :DDD
Tons of love to both of you!
hope both of you enjoy your birthday! <3

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FINALLY,
I went clubbing. :D
POWERHOUSE! <3 size="5">
TOTALLYADDICTED!

This is my very first time.
Initially we were queue-ing at butter factory,
but it was a really LONG QUEUE.
after waiting for like 1 hours plus plus plus,
we decided to cab down to powerhouse instead.
There, was my kor and friends.
they were protective over ask.
he held my hands when he was leading the way,
my heart accidentally skipped a beat.
*i should not feel that way*
i hugged him.
my heart skipped another beat again.
*guilty*
i danced and danced. trying to pick up moves and enjoy.
but without alcohol, it is just not that easy.
So, i went to get the drinks.
At first, there was no kick,
but a few minutes later,
the kick came,
TADA! drunk!
& guesss what?
i lost my shoes.
so i was simply bare footed dancing the whole night!!
i went to the platform to dance,
and REALLY DANCE like CRAZY~! :D
the inner part of me was totally unleashed,
i guess i ran wild TOTALLY.
dance like never before! :D
it was super easy and natural for me.
I heard i fell down, and there the BALUKU on my head!
GOSH. it was REALLY painful okayy!!?
i think i was crazy.
i cried throughout and shocked some people.
adeline told me she was so shocked that
when she try to wipe my tears,
my tears seems to never stop flowing.
but seriously, i am really upset.
just that, i need to hide it and push it down my throat.
and this is seriously making my heart hard.
i can feeel like my heart is made of stone.
only sometimes to some people,
my heart become flesh.
sometimes, i bury so much that i find that i have lost myself.

okok!! back to clubbing stuffs..
i guess i made a fool of myself?
i heard that when denise was driving,
i went to open the door,
SERIOUSLY,
it was NOT in my memory AT ALL~
GOSH.
and what's more?
hmm. he drove me to yishun dam.
A REALLY NICE PLACE.
adeline and me were sitting there.
and there i am, still crying.
HAHA :'D
aftermath, i proceed on to linda's house.
After i woke up, the HANGOVER was MADNESS!!
The word,"Alcohol, vodka, tequila" and the sight of
anything that looks like it, even the nice glasses,
makes me PUKE!


Clement treated me for dinner at Vienna,
a super nice place which is at united square (:
a seafood buffet.
I love the food, really.
Thank you clement!! :DD

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I want my beautiful smile back (:









It hasn't been a good time for me.

Thinking that I will fail both Marketing and MA,
then proceeding to being kicked out of school..
is really a torture for me.
A thousand litres of tears cannot even describe this feeling of mine.

Have you ever had this feeling like,
you feel like giving up,
but you can't?
Stucked in the middle, standing there helplessly?
You feel like a wondering soul on the street while walking?
Have that whole chuck of emptiness filled with fear and helplessness?

That is how i feel now.

up at this early morning 5.30am,
having this fear in my heart,
so traumatize by it.

P.s : i am still struggling hard to surface up from the deep waters.

Today i went for dinner with Ade, Linda,Feli, Austin, Marlin, Mingyao and Prissy at Central.
I drank Heineken.
Well well, yes,thats the reason you are guessing why (:
I don't wish to elaborate, though (:
We went for Zone PM,
without any doubt,
it is really GREAT!
a really power up one!
We learnt to pray with our heart. (:
Mingyao spoke to me (:
For once, i spoke how i felt on the spot.
I think it was the effect of the Heineken? LOL!
Just joking, he was really patient in listening to me.
That was why i spoke.
For the first time,
i talked about how i felt boldly.
but still gasping for air to ease that fear in my heart.
I guess i need time.
really. i need solutions.
i need help.
i need a listening ear.
i need love. (:


p.s GODISNOWHERE.

how did you interpret that?
is it God is NO WHERE?

The actual meaning is..
God is NOW HERE! (:

Peace (:



-thousands of TEDDY HUGS just attacked you! ♥

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I can only say, I am utterly disappointed.
Seriously.
I am speechless to what i heard.
Alright, enough of my dumbness.
yes, enough is enough.
I am tired of it.

*i don't want to elaborate more because there may be alot
of uninvited guests who will visit my blog*

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I went to work for the waitress job.
I was like, "SIAN LA. no clothes then sure very xia suay lo!"
But in the end it turned out well.
The tables I were serving were very nice.
I became popular just in one night.
A few people said,"你在这里の笑容是最多の。你の笑容很灿烂。"
I was really very happy (:
I do love to serve people because it gives me a fulfilling sense.
And the chef keeps on pestering me for my handphone number.
HAHA!
They never let me off.
They talked about it when I enter and exit from the door until I end work.
And one of the tables i was serving,
crowded around me and force me to give them my number,
They were like doing match-making. And i was like.. Ermmmm?!
And lucky me, I do not need to use that two spoons to serve the mee sua and yam paste.
All the gentleman helped me with it with their own initiative.
It got me thinking why such fatso like me gets attention (:
I thought only slim girls get all these types of things.
I am glad that I am not that ugly to the extent that people will not pay me a little attention.
LOL *grateful*
I can only say I am really fortunate.
So, the moral of the story is, SMILE

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Nowadays i have been very tight in my finances.
like.. again?
having ocasionally allowance like $4 again.
my family is really going down in finances.
it is all due to the house.
28k leh! HAIZ! where to find the money?
i know you guys may say do this and that,
but don't forget,
at the end of the day,it isn't me who makes the decision.
they do not want to sell the car because of the depreciation costs,i guess?
hmms. what else? cut away handphone line?
cutted one.
what's more? eeyer.



Never mind, faith. (:

Yesterday, i went to ngee ann city tower b to collect the 100 christmas cards.
It was really super duper heavy.
I phoned penguin to come and help me.
At first, i was asking him to pei me eat,
but he says he wants to go home straight.
I then started to tell him that the christmas cards are really very heavy.
i can't erally carry it home. :(
and to my surprise, he agreed straightaway.
He came to wheellock to help me with the box.
Bused home together.
He helped me to carry it all the way to my house doorstep.
Seriously,i am very grateful about it. (:
he came down all the way despite his sickness and tiredness,
Thanks for going the extra mile,penguin(:
i think you are the only man who treats me as a girl (:
*he did not let me carry the box at all even when he had to struggle to take
his ez link card when boarding the bus*
No other man will ever do that.
At least, till now?
But i remembered one person who once helped me take my bag willingly
on his intiative,That is Bryan Poon (: THANKS TOO! :D
Mr underdress helped me with my laptop also.
Xavier gets bullied by me and had to help me. haha. but he is nice la.
JUST NEED MORE INITIATIVE! HAHA! XD

I am selling Christmas Cards at $10 for 5!
please help me with the cards eh?
HEH! I need to gt 200 packages of 5 to be sold in 3 days.
HELP! please do help me promote too eh? (: thanks uh!



Stress:
-Exams
-Finances
-Fats
-Disappointment
-Mum's nags! ( and it always start when im going to have exams :( )


Happy:
-found a job (is gonna be tough but i want to be determined (: )
-penguin is treating me really nice (:
-best-tea is always supporting me
-best-tee is always trying to be with me and help me look for opportunities.
-today is my last day of school.
-i am coming back for cgm this week.


Misses:
-bestie
-S33
-CHC
-Michael Jeffrey
-best-tea
-penguin


26 Nov - 2 Dec is my EXAMS!
*afraid*
**concentrate**
no more shoppings.
but i need to get the christmas cards sold away asap so that i can focus ):
i know it isn't the right time to work,
i need money urgently. so ya. sorry.
I need to faster get rid of it (:


p.s i so want to do ZIRCA and DID :)

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I am at last back to post(:

i am actually speechless about what to say over such a huge
gap of not posting! :X

I have been chionging projects till 5 plus am for consecutive 2 days!
I think I am turning into a crazy panda! /@.@\
hurhur~ i really hope my hardwork will pays off.

FTWDK,
I am actually grounded from going out.
That includes going to church and cell group. :'(
But, i believe everything happens for a reason.
Nothing happens without God's permission(:

Talking about service and cg,
i went for cg last week.
Back to where i wanted to belong to..
The feeling is so strong.
Although there aren't alot of talkings and etc,
i felt ease.
At the very least, the family that i hope i can melt in is safe and sound.
They still lead happy life and cg still goes on well without me (:
The presence was tangible and both Adeline and I could feel it.
I guess the others felt it too ba~
Great everyone is doing well (:
Then i won't need to be bothered about not being there already eh? (:
i will peacefully study and get well.
Perhaps this grounded incident is a chance for me to take a break.
Have a break from worrying.
Have a break from feeling not needed.
Have a break from struggling the emotional attack deep in my heart.
Have a break, have a kit kat~ :D

I admit i am a green apple.
It isn't that i don't like my friends to successful or what, obviously.
It is just that i am just too low self-esteem and confidence.
I am kind of tired.
I want to escape to a world with people just like me.
No more no less.
I cannot deny I hate being a shadow.
Of all the bestfriends i have,
only with best-tee,
I no need to feel so no use.
At least, she is someone who get close to me on her own accord,
rely on me in some way or another.
Of course, i still love my other bestfriends especially BESTIE. :D
She is popular, pretty, nice and lovely.(which is good for her)
ever since that incident,
i started to drift from her.
we used to be distance apart yet heart close.
but now, even when she is just next to me,
the heart is still near,
but i can feel that she is no longer someone who needs me as much like before.
It isn't about whether she also tells me about her problems.
It is about I am no longer that someone significant whom no one can replace.
I used to be the one who knows things about her that people don't,
or should i rephrase, i thought i know everything but in the end,
those people around her know more.
I abhor the feeling when people question me,"She never tell you meh? she is your bestie what i thought?"
It just piss me off.
BUT, it is the PAST already.
i still love her like before.
even though it isn't all about me anymore,
or it never was ALL about me.
But, hmm.... oh yes.. (:
& i am happy for her, seriously.
for what she has got (:
& i thank her for all the things she had done.
She had sacrificed ALOT for me,seriously.
i think i owe her alot and alot.
even her mom.
no word can describe that gratefulness in me.
they gave me a helping hand when i am down,
when i need jobs,
when i am financially broke,
when i am hungry but is penniless,
when my ez link card has no more money and again penniless.
so so so much.
i am really thankful about it. (:
THANKS BESTIE AND BESTIE'S MOM! <3



Sometimes i really feel so



ya, i mean sometimes. *grins*



Just want to write down a quote (:

"When you feel like giving up,
remember why you held on for so long in the first place."



but i am just afraid that the reason behind it
will be the reason i give up.
*back to be an independent girl *
what else?
will anyone wants and will protect me with action and not just empty words on his/her accord?
*wonders*


on a lighter note,
my family relations with each other is getting better (:


#FTWDK = For Those Who Doesn't Know

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THIS IS FOR MY BESTIE! :D

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The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class

And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
If the jar was full... They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand

And poured it into the jar.. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively
Filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions –

Things that if everything else was lost

And only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life..

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
Important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness.
Playwith your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

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FUCK OFF.
ENDED.
DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED!











i wish i am with bestie now. :'(

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虽然是简单的形容
虽然是重复的动作
因为有你
让一切都变成不平凡

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵着不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

ti amo te quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

sa la he and i love you
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎
永远都觉

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Love is about being able to accept the person totally.



But,

why my heart,

consists of fear and insecurities?





is it that he isn't the guy whom Daddy want me to be with?

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結果分析：[中酸性情人]:人妻情人
詳細分析：<妳的性格診斷書>
妳其 實是一個敏感且富於同理心的「人妻」型女性。無論外表給人的感覺如何，妳其實很體貼、很溫和，即便天性直率，也相當厚道。妳像是一瓶後勁十足的好酒，剛開 始不覺得有甚麼特別，可是會越陳越香，適合有耐心且懂得品味的人來欣賞。妳唯一難搞的地方是固執，自己堅信的事情，妳很難讓步，很多人以為妳好相處，其實 妳有不肯妥協的地方。正義感十足且擁有包容力的妳，在人生的道...路上，當心變成他人私心下的犧牲品。儘管懂得進退與給對方空間，但是別忘了保護自己。

<中酸性愛情分析>
妳 的賢慧與貼心，是一種隱性特質，表面上妳獨立且喜歡主導，不過骨子裡對於愛情的配合與容忍度卻很強，因此再艱辛的愛情妳都能繼續走下去。除非對方主動放 棄，妳不會輕言分手。妳的忠誠度與其他女性相比，也算是比較高的，感性且敏感的妳，其實很需要愛情的肯定，愛情的溫度，更是生命中不可或缺的幸福。正因為 如此，才華洋溢、任性自我以及異性緣好的對象，絕對不會是妳的真命天子，因為妳的自尊心受不了他人自私的折磨。平淡的愛情，才是妳的最大福報。通常妳的愛 情運會有如倒吃甘蔗般，屬於越晚越好的類型。

<魅力診療室>
妳的特質是，無論多麼優秀強勢，只要一談戀愛就會變笨。學著在愛情的世界裡多為自己盤算，會比較快樂。在裝扮上，換些時尚些的裝扮，或是嘗試一些平日沒考慮過的穿著，也能讓人驚艷。


I blogged this here because i think it was so true.
& ya.
just to keep it in my memory blog.
who knows i may lost my memories in future?

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The story showing that money is not the main thing.

It is love.

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hard work and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realize, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious paper cranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.

A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.
Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us.

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You MUST watch this!

What do you do when you fall?

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A story of how words of anger and impulse can do.

A girl in love asked her boyfriend.

Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?

Boy: You, of course!

Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?

Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.

However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane.

All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up.

Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years went by...

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.

In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you?

Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?

Boy: No.

Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.

Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.

Good bye...

One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.

Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done.

Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives.

Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today.

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Are you really in love? Or do you think that you are in love?

There is a big difference between love and infatuation. Some people can't tell the difference, thinking they are in love but really it is a deep infatuation. Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.

Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying.
But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up.
It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

INFATUATION

Infatuation is a feeling; real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just love of emotion. Real love, though, is love of devotion. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the emotions and the will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "grows into" real love.

Guys, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint?
This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction. often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological. Also remember, never tell a girl you love her, unless you are willing to marry her.

Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless.Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and the feeling than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get.. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation.
This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if
you are truly in love.

LOVE

Now you know what is infatuation, we will go on to discuss about the details of a true love. Love is patient. The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfilment of expectations.

When you have difficulty dating this girl and she does not want to come out, if you truly love her, you will not complain and blame her, you must look at the situation from her point of view - maybe she is having some problems which prevented her from coming out. You must react to it with patience and understanding.

Next, have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however, is willing to give a relationship time to grow at a natural pace.
It does not push but is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to encourage and build up others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others..
It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy.

You can do the following:

1. Give one another things such as gifts and encouragement cards.

2. Compliment one another. Magnify the other party's strength.

3. Listen to one another. Pay close attention to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important.

4. Treat one another special in public. Compliment and encourage one another sincerely in the presence of others.

5. Love is Not Jealous. Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement, "If he is going to talk to her, then he can just forget
about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

6. Love is not about bragging. Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself! Others will exalt him.

7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love is not conceited, boastful,cocky, or stuck-up. Love, instead, is humble and has a servant attitude. Sometimes, a guy may come across to a girl with an "I can take you or leave you" attitude. His demeanour implies, "You ought to be thankful that somebody as neat as me is dating you." Of course, this is not love.

8. Love always covers. This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential.

9. Love is patient with the faults of others. It doesn't criticise and broadcast to the world the faults of others.
Love is there even when it knows the other is not perfect.

10. Love always Perseveres. Love always stands its ground and hold out. It will outlast anything. It will even love in the face of unrequited love. Real love will last though all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

11. Love is Not Provoked. This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended.

12. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centred rather than self- centred. Love says, "I love you, I want to give to you." Selfishness says, "I love you, I want you!"

13. Love does not act unbecomingly. This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonourably or indecently. It does not embarrass others by its action. It is characterised by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manner. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl, or offering her your arm when you walk together.

14. Lastly, Love is forgiving. This is a MUST for a successful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forget when his girlfriend is one hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love doesn't hold grudges when it has been
wronged. It doesn't remain resentful.

** Remember this: Love forgets past failures and sins. **

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The word : L O V E

Love is like a river, always changing,
but always finding you again somewhere down the road.
Love means never having to say you are sorry.
Love is like quicksand,the deeper you fall in it,the harder it is to get out.
Love is running into his arms colliding with his heart and exploding into his soul.
Love isn't all smiles and laughs for the moment;but crying and fighting for
what you believe is right and will last forever.
Love-ing unconditional means forgiving and learning to live with his imperfections,
because in the end you'll realize that's what you love the most.
Love is just a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning.
Love is holding that special someone closely and realizing that is still isn't close enough.
Love is the greatest refreshment in life.
Love is not a matter of counting the years..but making the years count.
Love reckons hours for months and days for years and every little absence is an age.
Love alone matters
Love cures people, including the one who receives and the one who gives.
Love is a great master who teaches us to be what we never were.
Love is but a burning fire,the distance between us only increases our desire.
Love is like water; We can fall in it. We can drown in it. And we can't live without it.
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others,
and the delight in the recognition.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.
Love reminds you that nothing else matters.
Love is more than a feeling but a state of mind.
Love is like playing the piano.
First you must learn to play by the rules,
then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
Love is a miracle.
Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by a heart.
Love works in miracles every day:
such as weakening the strong and stretching the weak;
making fools of the wise and wise men of fools,
favouring the passions, destroying reason,and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.
Love creates us without destroying a me.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love is like quicksilver in the hand.
Leave the fingers open and it stays.
Clutch it, and it darts away.
Love is the only kind of fire that is never covered by insurance.
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Love is 3/4 dream and 1/4 reality.
Problems usually arise when you fall in love
with the dream and not the reality.
But, yet you find true love when you fall in love with both.
Love is blind only to the eyes as the heart sees everything clearly.
Love is like a bazaar,the admittance fee is free but it costs you
something when you get out.
Love is always bestowed as a gift-freely,willingly and without expectations,
we don't love to be loved but rather we love to love.
Love grows by giving,the love we give away is the only love we keep,
the only way to retain love is to give it away.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness,a tender looks that becomes a habit.
Love is an energy which exists of itself. It is its own value.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.
Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into reality.






Most importantly,

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Love with all your heart.
unconditionally loving people.
is the only way to make fill your heart too :D

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The meaning of this word, BESTIE?

they will support you no matter what comes may.
they don't watch the time when they are listening to your problems.
they assure you that their hearts are there with you when they aren't physically there.
they tell you the truth of everything.
they depend on you trusting you are their friend.
they are dependable.
they bring you out for breather when they know you are getting out of breath.
they send porridge to your house knowing you are sick.
they send you medicine if you have none when you are sick.
they visit you when you are sick.
they call you straightaway when you tell them you are sad.
they rush down to where you are when you are lost in the midnight.
they called up people to go help you out when they can't.
they teach you when you are wrong but never condemns you.
they show you the meaning of friends.
they shower you with care even when you aren't sad or whatsoever.
they enjoy your presence.
they remember you whenever they want to do something fun.
they hug you when they see you cry.
they lend you their shoulder for you to cry.
they pat your head telling you is ok and that they are with you.
they try their best to meet your needs.
they believe in you no matter what slander comes up.
they defend for you when people talks bad about you.
they express their love through actions and words.
they tell you how they feel.
they will enter into your circle where you made for them to have protection.
they find you dependable and long to be with you forever.
they include you in as many events as possible.
they help you with your work when you need help.
they proudly presents you to their friends.
they openly say that you are their *level of friends* (bestie,gd friend or so)
they accept you for who you are and if it isn't good, they help you change.
they run the walk with you.
they hold your hands and run together.
they do not leave you behind on your own to suffer all.


# and i have found a VERY VERY VERY friend that suits ALL the above points.

&

that is no other than





















































































SHE IS MY GREATEST ADDICTION <3


i will be her protector,
i will be her shelter,
i will give her the best teddy hug,
i will shower her with love and care,
i will defend for her whoever dares to speak ill of her,
i will tell the world, SHE IS MY BESTIE,
i will shine like stars because that is what she hopes,
i will make her shine better than me,
i will be there for her if she needs me,
i will watch stars with her,
i will cry with her when she is sad,
i will wipe her tears and pats her head when she break down,
i will lend her my chubby and comfortable shoulder to rest on,
i will let her fall asleep on my thights,
i will see her through all the tough times,
i will be the star that protects the heart from being hurt!

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Sometimes going through too much aren't as good as what many think.
Though it benefits in the way I can sayang the sad souls' hearts ;
analyzing how they feel and help them find the root feeling and cause,
but it can sometimes make you protect yourself so much
that you forgot how to love.
However, for me, it is a different case.
I can still go around loving everyone,
allowing my heart to roam about the words people speaks.
That means after getting hurt so much,
I can still accept guys in my life.
Whereas many people always work according to what they see people
react when the same situation arises.

For example :
Problem : My boyfriend who i loved alot, cheat on my feelings.
Majority reaction : Very upset. Break down. Sometimes even result
in taking revenge on them. Attempting suicide to show how your emotional and
mental needs are not met and it hurts so much.
Cannot stand up from the fall because it is supposed
to be that way since I am so hurt.
Result : Sometimes you may not be as sad as you actually are.
But because of the fact that you want to show that you actually love your
boyfriend alot, so you also react like what majority do. This is to double confirm
yourself that you love your boyfriend alot, that's why you will react this way.
& at the mean time let others also see how serious the situation is.
In fact : Actually what people needed is empathy. It is not sympathy. Is like a type of comfort that they hope they can get after this that had happened. A type of console
that they hope to get to agree that that are hurt, sayang-ing them
However, the friends most of the time neglected or ignored their feelings when they
did not appear to be very upset. That's why it resulted that they will result in such
behaviors. And for worse cases, they took these action that they took as a real
deep agony is their hearts. These is even a much more severe case than
those who really am upset. Because those who really am upset, knows when
they are alright. Those who took up the reaction do not know these sadness
will stop. They tends to dwell in the matter more than those people who are truly
sad. Most of the situations in relationships(not married yet,doesn't include being raped and extreme sacrifices made) are able to be resolved when you found the right one and when the right amount of empathy is given.

It is a little complicated here and there which i do not know how to
elaborate into words. It is a type of deep felt thing which black and white
aren't easy to define.

It is something like the following steps :

If,

friends & love ones are sensitive enough to provide the empathy, attention, love and care on the problem and not belittle it.


Then,

they will not need to resort to such actions to get it.


Thereafter,

it won't be that difficult for them to come out of the situation


Which means,

It is easier for them to move on.


Results in :

Stronger friendship, healthier heart and soul.
Most importantly, MORE LIFE IS SAVED!

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My criteria of my boyfriend :

**very important**
# taller than me
# love me truly and wholeheartedly
# know why he loves me
# willing to change for me
# willing to do anything for me
# his world priority other than God, is me.
# don't make any promise to me unless he is sure he can fulfill.
( i rather not listen to promises than to feel the broken promise )
# believe in me NO MATTER what happens
# able to hold me when i fall
# only have me in his eyes in the sense of love
# gentleman
# accept me for who i am
# defend me when rumors arise
# hold my hand
# proud of having me as his gf
# stand up for me when people scold me or anyone look down on me
# be real and truthful to me regardless it is painful or not.
( i don't want to break any % of trust including 0.000000000000001% )
# able to support me financially
( depends on age and situation, of course. )
# have confidence in this relationship


Sorry if my criteria is so high.
i am out to look for a husband-criteria of boyfriend.
Not those normal guys i can find on orchard road,
together then break again.
hope i get all of you's understanding (:




p.s SUPER RANDOM.
p.s.p.s i don't know why, just have the feeling to do so~

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I seemed to be missing someone now.
Awwww~
wondering if he thinks so too.
Awwww~
Don't sound very gooood uh?
Urhmmmm.
someone is sure smiling at what i just wrote.
haas. :D
yesterday went out with L,
i thought well, it is quite nice eh?
i do hope L is happy hanging out with me.
WAHAHA XD
i feel that L is kinda accepting.
he accepts me for who i am.
it's kinda rare to me.
he is also quite kind to me la!AHAHAHA!
he actually treat me to mac though he doesn't really have money le.
isn't it sweet? (:
Awww.. *faints*

i am having hell loads of projects pouring over me.
the time is so near like thursday,friday and saturday?
i am like crying already.
my eyes are super dry making extra discomfort.
to make things worse, i am sick now.
Flu, cough, fever, sore throat & headache.
sigh! why like that?

*though you don't like housefly,
i still have to tell you i am someone who needs
many many of love, care, concern and attention*

*somehow or rather, i hope he will come and look for me*

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Hamster eating popcorn on the piano

Posted using ShareThis

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